As the Years Went By
by Natfanfirst
Summary: John and Natalie find each other again after four years apart. What deceptions and surprises do they uncover? Read and see.
1. Chapter 1

This takes place about four years after the prison riot and Natalie had told both Chris and John she doesn't want to have anything to do with either of them.

Chapter 1 

Natalie was frantic with worry as she searched Angel Square Park for Lauren. Lauren was three a few months ago and this was her first time to Angel Square since she was a baby. Natalie continued to search the grounds of the park when she heard her scream. Nat ran towards the sound of her voice. Natalie ran towards Luna's statue and stopped short in her tracks. She blinked a few times to make sure her eye's weren't playing tricks on her, it was him. Lauren wasn't screaming anymore but now she was laughing, smiling and laughing.

Natalie watched as Lauren continued to laugh. She watched the interaction between the two and it reminded her of how he use to make her laugh all the time, laugh all the time with his dry sense of humor.

John stared at the little girl in front of him, she seem to be frightened and lost at first but calmed at the sound of his voice. The girl reminded him of someone, someone he once knew, someone he once loved, and someone he never got over loving. He shook his head clear of those memories of the love he didn't fight for, as he continued to stare at the cutest little girl he had ever seen, all most like he knew her, she had the most beautiful long strawberry blonde hair and a smile that reached from ear to ear when she laughed. John was brought out of his thoughts when she spoke.

" My name is Lauren Vega and I can't find my mommy" Lauren said as fear again started to sink in.

Natalie heard Lauren's voice turn back into fear and she walked forward from behind John. She walked passed John and over to Lauren.

" I'm right her honey, It's alright." Natalie said as she kneeled down and held her. Natalie turned away from Lauren while she was still holding her and looked at John.

John wasn't in shock for he had a strange feeling when he met the little girl. She was all Natalie but a younger version and then when she said her name, he knew. He knew she was Natalie's. He knew that after he left Llanview Natalie and Chris worked things out, he had been in touch with Michael back then. Michael had even told John that Nat and Chris also moved away from Llanview. John himself was gone from Llanview for, four years.

Natalie and John continued to stare at each other till finally Nat spoke.

" It's nice to see you again John. What brings you back to Llanview?" Natalie asked as she picked Lauren up in her arms and Lauren put her arms around Nat's neck and held on.

" Nice to see you too Nat. I'm back for a visit with Michael." John answered, as the awkwardness was too much to handle. Natalie was about to thank John for finding and calming Lauren when Lauren spoke.

" Mommy we have to go, daddy calls tonight, it's Friday, he calls every Friday at five. Is it five? "

"No, it's not five yet we have plenty of time, you won't miss his call." Nat reassured her little girl as John noticed the girl was overly worried about missing the phone call. John was curious, very curious.

" How is Chris? " John asked fishing for answers to his curiosity.

"He's fine, He..He... he's still in New York. " Nat answered not wanting to let John Mcbain back into her business. Not wanting to tell him too much, for it was none of his business and for some reason she always wanted to tell him everything. She would just look at him and she couldn't keep anything inside. But not anymore, she thought it had been over four years since she found out about him knowing about Chris in Statesville. It was over four years ago that he stepped aside and let Chris have her back, It was over four years since he just let her go, since he didn't fight for her, no fighting for her and no proclamation of love, she remembered., he didn't fight and I went where I wasn't second guessing Love. Chris's Love was never an issue.

" I really have to go John, Chris will be calling home to speak to Lauren and she gets very upset if she misses his call." Natalie said as she started to walk away still carrying Lauren.

" Bye, John have a nice visit with Michael. " Natalie said as she continued to walk away not waiting for a good bye from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

John walked from the park to Rodi's and he couldn't shake the way Lauren acted about missing her father's call. How important it was that she not miss it. Something didn't make sense. He thought. Natalie said the word home, not Llanfair, was she back living in Llanview, were they, all three of them back in Llanview. He walked into Rodi's and saw Michael at a table smiling. He walked over to Michael and knew he'd be able to get the answers from him.

" Hey Big Bro, how are ya?" Michael said as he stood and gave John a man hug with a pat on the back.

"I'm good and yourself? I've see you put on a few pounds" John said as he lightly smacked Mike's stomach

" Well that's what happens to married couples, they gain weight " Michael replied as the two men sat back down at the table.

" How are Marcie and the Baby? I bet Jr. is getting big." John asked as he and Michael continued to catch up on how life was treating them when John paused for a few minutes when he looked over and saw the pool table in the corner. John thought of how things hadn't changed in Rodi's. The rest of the town seemed different but not Rodi's. Rodi's was exactly the same as he remembered it; the pool table was exactly how he remembered it. John was brought out of his thoughts when Michael waved his hand in from of him.

" Thinking of her? " Michael asked as he saw John staring intently at the pool table

" I never stop thinking of her, I saw her in the park with her daughter." John said in almost a whisper as he turned his attention back towards Michael and away from the pool table.

" Lauren, yes she is a cutie. Did Nat see you? Cause I didn't tell her you were coming to town." Mikey replied

" Yes, she saw me we spoke briefly. What's the deal with her husband? Why is he still in New York and she and Lauren are here? " John asked needing answers. Needing to know how Chris could stand to be away from her like this, away from them. If they were his, he thought. He shook his head. No, I won't go down that road again, she's not mine; she never was and never will be.

" What husband? Natalie and Chris have been divorced for almost a year now, she and Lauren have been living back here in Llanview for the last three months." Michael answered as he saw John's face change a little. It had almost looked like his eyes wore a flash of hope.

"They're divorced? But, how? Why? What happened? " John asked confused and excited all at once. Excited at the fact that Chris seemed to be finally out of the picture, out of her life somewhat anyways. Their marriage had ended and it wasn't because he had interfered, it ended because maybe they just didn't love each other anymore.

" I'm not really sure it I should be telling you all of this but, If I don't I'm sure someone else in this small town would so it's probably best coming from me. I've spoken to Nat about her and Chris, Nat and I are still friends although Marcie had a problem with it in the beginning but now she's all right with it. But anyways, when Nat came back with Lauren three months ago she was pretty messed up. She wouldn't talk to anyone about it. All she said was that they were divorced and that she and Lauren needed family. About a week or two after she was back Chris showed up. I was passing thru the park when I heard them, when I saw them arguing. When I heard Chris' tone and saw his eye's I stopped him. He had his hands grabbing the top part of her arms so tight that he was leaving bruises." Michael said as he took a short pause trying to decide if he should tell John the rest.

" Michael are you telling me, that he was hurting her? Physically? emotionally? " John asked starting to feel pangs of anger rise up inside of him.

"Yes, and after I stopped him from grabbing her Natalie insisted he leave and never come back or she'd press charges and he'd never be allowed to see Lauren again. After Chris left Nat and I walked for a while and she told me. She told me about Chris and why things didn't work out. Wh--" Michael was about to finish his story when he saw Natalie walk into the bar with Marcie's brother Ron. John heard Michael stop talking and saw his face so he turned and there she was. There Natalie was, and she was with Ron Walsh.


	3. Chapter 3

ABC owns them

Chapter 3 

" Are they dating? " John asks as he turns his head back towards Michael.

" No, they're just friends, I'm pretty sure Ron would like more than that, but Nat's made it perfectly clear that she can't and won't go down that road again." Michael said as he watches Nat walking towards them. Nat smiles at Michael and walks passed them and over to the pool table.

Natalie noticed them the minute she walked in the door. She figured he'd be here meeting Michael, this was his favorite place in town, it had been their favorite place in town, she remembered. As she chalked up her pool stick she thought about the time he rented the place for them, for them to have a private game of pool, a private dance. Without even realizing it she started smiling to herself. She was still smiling when Ron walked over to her with two beers in his hands. Natalie thanked him for the beer when he handed it to her and they began to play pool. She was having a very hard time concentrating on the game cause she just couldn't help but wonder what John and Michael were talking about, and if it was about her.

John talked to Michael some more but couldn't remember a word of what he was saying. Michael decided he didn't want to tell John the rest of Nat's story and he thought John probably didn't need to know the rest right now. John understood the important parts of what happened and that was all the answers he needed for now.

Michael continued to talk and John continued to act interested but he was much more interested in the game going on at the pool table behind Michael. Much more interested in the players, playing pool. One beautiful red haired player, playing pool. He watched her and she seemed to be off her game. She almost lost, almost lost to Ron Walsh; Ron Walsh of all people, that guy couldn't play pool to save his own life. He noticed Ron got a phone call and then Ron kissed Nat's cheek and he left Rodi's. Natalie continued to play pool and John excused himself from Michael who was still talking when John approached Nat at the pool table, she was leaning over her stick lining up her shot when John walked over to her. Her eyes looked up at him before she took the shot.

" What do you want John? " Natalie asked as her eyes went back to her lined up shot and she took it.

"You" He said softly

Natalie could have sworn he said her but it was so soft and low, maybe her ears were hearing things. Maybe her ears but not her eye's. Her eye's found his and they looked like he wanted to devour her.

" What?" Natalie asked

" Pool, I ...want to play pool" John replied horribly since he realized his mistake of telling her the truth the first time.

Natalie took her last shot and went over by him and attempted to hand him her stick.

"The tables all yours" she said as he didn't reach for the stick. She put the stick down by her side and held it.

" I meant .. Do you wanna play a game? Like old times? " John asked a little unraveled that she didn't know he meant he wanted to play a game with her.

Natalie knew exactly what John meant the first time. But she just didn't want to make things easy for him. She purposely paused for a few minutes like she was trying to decide if she should when she saw him smile.

"You know you wanna, you just want to give me a hard time with things. Come on, I bet you haven't been challenged in a long time. Definitely not by that Ron Walsh guy." John said grinning trying to get her to say that she'd play pool with him.

"Alright, one game. But, don't use Ron as an excuse he challenges me just fine." Natalie said with her own smirk and then a wink when she said Ron's name. John went to the rack of sticks on the wall and got one. He couldn't help but replay what she just said in his head, and the wink. He was becoming jealous, very jealous.

Nat and John ended up playing several games when Nat looked at her watch and realized the time.

" I've got to go Pick Lauren up at my mom's, thanks for the game. It was really nice to be challenged again, at pool that is. See ya. " Natalie said as she started walking towards the door not waiting for his response.

" It felt good to play again, it.. Felt good to just have fun didn't it? Can we do it again? Play pool again or maybe talk? It's been a long time Nat, please? " John said as he followed behind her to the door, when she heard him ask if maybe they could talk she turned and faced him. She wanted to talk to him so bad. He had been her best friend among other things all those years ago when she loved him, she had missed talking to him so much when she found out about the lie but then as the years went by it got easier and easier to not have him to talk to.

"I don't think so John. I don't think there's anything we need to talk about." Nat said not giving in.

"Then pool, we can play more pool. " John asked not wanting to give up

Natalie didn't say a word she just shook her head telling him No when her cell phone rang. She saw it was her mom on the caller ID and answered it.

" Mom, is everything alright I was just coming for Lauren."

" She's asleep already? Was she feeling all right? It's not like her to fall asleep so early. Did Chris ever call? " Nat asked her mom on the phone.

" How did she take it? All right, I'll pick her up in the morning. Thank you, goodnight" Nat ended her conversation with her mom and John was still standing next to her. Nat was caught up in her thoughts when he asked her a few questions.

"Is she alright? " He asked

" My mom said she was just really tired, that she seemed fine." Nat answered while still caught up in thoughts

" I guess her dad didn't call" John said softly and before Nat even realized it she started to tell him, to talk to him.

" Yeah, he didn't call, he makes this huge deal about wanting to talk to her every Friday night at five. He makes it there special time on the phone cause he never seems to have time to see her and then she looks forward to it every week and then the Jerk turns around and doesn't call. I know she's only three but she's very smart and she's very sensitive when it comes to him and it's like he does--" Natalie said all of that before she even realized she was talking to John. She had no intentions of letting him back into her business but talking to him, being with him, it just seemed so natural to her. She stopped when she realized what she was doing.

" You don't have to stop, you know, talking that is. We were friends before anything else back then, weren't we? " John asked


	4. Chapter 4

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**Chapter 4**

"Yes, we were friends back then John, but we're not anymore. I've got to go" Nat said as she again started to leave. She walked outside and started walking towards the park.

"Where are you going? " John asked as he followed her out of the bar and noticed she didn't go towards the parking lot.

" John, leave me alone, It's none of your business where I'm going" Nat said annoyed. John walked a little faster and put himself in her path so she had to stop walking.

" Get out of my way John, I don't want to talk" Nat said starting to get angry

"No, we need to talk, you need someone to talk to. I know you've been thru a lot with Chris since I left and I just want to help if I can" John said demanding that she talk to him.

" You wanna talk, I'll talk, but only if you answer me one question first." Nat said making a deal

" Shoot" John said thinking it was going to be an easy question and then they would be able to talk about Nat and her problems

" Why? " she asked

" Why, what? " John asked

"Why didn't you love me?" Nat asked as she stared into his blue eyes.

" Is that what you really think, that I didn't love you? Do you think I left all those years ago because I didn't love you? " John said never once realizing that she didn't know how he felt about her. He had never told her, but he thought she knew, knew in her heart.

" Well, it's not like you said it or anything and there was a time when I thought I felt it. Felt that you loved me but after not even knowing you were keeping secrets about Chris from me, how, how could I trust my feelings. How could I trust what I felt inside, trust that you loved me without words." Nat said as they decided to sit at a bench in the park. The same bench they had once said good-bye on.

" Natalie, it's just the opposite, I left because I did Love you. I still love you, I've never stopped loving you" John said as he leaned his mouth into hers for a kiss. He softly took her mouth with his own and then after a few minutes of kissing him back Natalie pulled away. She looked away from him.

" You just can't do that John, come back here and turn me inside out again. I'm not the same person I was when you left. I've been thru to much these last few years and I can't and I won't go back to being that person that needed you, that wanted you, that loved you. I don't need you anymore John. I thought I knew what Love was, but I was wrong. I only just found out what love was when Lauren was born and her love is the only love I want or that I need. A child's love is unbelievable John, I only hope for you that someday you get to experience it." Nat said as she stood up and started to walk again.

" Friends then? " John asked, if she wouldn't let him into her life in that aspect he would take what ever she was willing to give him, just as long as he could still be in her life.

"We'll see John, maybe " Natalie said as she continued to walk thru the park. John stood still for a few minutes and watched her walk away. She said maybe, he thought. Maybe was better than No. John smiled to himself and ran to catch up with her.

" What are you doing? Where's your car? " John asked

" I'm walking home, Ron picked me up tonight so I don't have my car. " Natalie said as she continued to walk.

" You're going to walk all the way home? It's too far, wait a minute where are you living?" John asked walking along side her

" The cottage, and No it's not that far, I've walked it a few times when I've drank to much." Natalie answered

"You shouldn't be walking it alone, I'll walk with you." John said

" How did I know you were going to say that..? Suit yourself Mcbain" Natalie replied with a half grin

John and Nat talked and laughed the whole way back to the cottage. They arrived at her door and Natalie took out her key to open the door and she heard a voice come from the swing that Ron had built on her porch for her. She knew exactly who it was and so did John as they both turned to face him.

" Well, look who's back sniffing around my wife again." Chris said as he got up off the swing and walked over to them.

" Chris, Lauren's not here so you should leave, call tomorrow and we can make arrangements for you to see her, Oh and don't forget I'm no longer your wife." Natalie said as she went into the house, motioning for John to come in.


	5. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

" I'm sorry about Chris, he's... he's " Natalie started to say but couldn't find a single pleasant word to say about Chris.

" An Asshole" John said finishing her sentence.

Natalie smiled and laughed as she walked into the living room to sit. John followed Nat into the Living room and looked around the house. It was so different than it was when he was in it last. Last time he was actually in it was when the free loader love crew lived in it. Natalie had changed it so much, changed it from even before the love crew lived there.

" Wow! This place looks great; you've really changed it a lot didn't you? " John asked as he saw Nat sit on the couch so he too sat.

" Yeah, I needed someplace that I felt safe when I got back from NY and I had always loved this place but it really needed work after the love crew left. Ron and I fixed it up. He is amazing, I told him what I wanted it to look like and he did it. He even built me that swing on the porch as a surprise." Natalie said as she saw John's face change, it got an uptight look on it.

"Ron Walsh huh? Michael says you two are just friends, Is that...that .. True? " John asked as jealously was on the rise inside of him even before she answered him.

" Ron and I are good friends, sort of how you and I were good friends," Natalie said as she continued to watch John's uptight expressions

"Friends like us? " John asked trying to cover his concern that she was starting to feel for Ron the way she felt with John when they started out as friends.

" He's my friend John, not that it's any of your business but it's not the same with him as you, it's never been the same with anyone as it was with you." Nat replied

" How is it different? What's the difference between your friendship with Ron and the friendship we use to have? " John asked

Natalie thought for a few minutes and then stared right into John's eyes and answered.

" I could tell you anything and I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted you to know everything," Natalie answered

" Then tell me" John replied

" What?" Nat asked confused

" I'm here now, tell me everything, tell me what happened with Chris, with us." John said not wavering his eyes from hers.

Natalie's eye's started tearing up and she got up from the couch and went outside to sit on her swing. John watched her go outside and grabbed the throw blanket that was across the back of the couch and then followed her outside. He saw her sitting there on the swing staring into the night sky. Looking, looking for the reasons not to talk to him but she couldn't find any so she started to tell him even before he sat down next to her on the swing.

" I hated the two of you so much for what you did to me, thinking I was weak and couldn't handle it, handle the secret. I don't really want to get into that much of how the two of you made me feel, it seems like so long ago and so much has changed. But, after you left town a few weeks after the riot, Chris was pressuring me to forgive him and take him back. He was showing up at my house all the time and kissing me whenever he wanted. So, when Michael told me that you left town, it hurt, it hurt a lot. It hurt because I thought that you must not have loved me to give up so fast. To not stick around and try to get me to forgive you, so I gave in to Chris. I knew Chris loved me, I loved him, even thou I loved you, I also loved him .. I started to let Chris back into my life and one night after we had dinner I gave in to him. We made Love, and that must have been the night Lauren was conceived." Natalie said as she paused for a moment to look at John's face. John looked disgusted, was he disgusted with her for sleeping with Chris, No, she thought how could he be, he's probably disgusted with himself for leaving. Nat continued with the story.

"Chris and I decided it was time for a change, before I even found out I was pregnant we moved to NY. Chris was show casing his paintings at some of the best galleries in NY, and money wasn't an issue. Things were good for awhile, I found out I was pregnant and we went to our first doctor's visit and I remember Chris acting strangely about it, just weird, I think that's when I noticed the biggest change in him since the riot. I called him on the fact that he was acting odd and he said it was because he was so happy; we were going to finally have our family, the family that we had always wanted. My pregnancy was normal and Chris attended every doctor's visit with me, he even sold some of his artwork to my doctor, he was a big fan of Chris's work. All was going as schedule except when I was about eight months pregnant the doctor said there was something wrong with Lauren in the womb and I needed a C-section." Natalie paused remembering how upset she was thinking there was something wrong with her baby.

" Was she alright, wasn't it to soon?" John asked very concern

" The doctor gave me some medicine to help her lungs because they are the last to developed and then I had the C-section. She was beautiful, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and she was seven pounds four ounces, which was great for a baby that was early. Chris was very happy but something changed. He had been changing more and more with each month of pregnancy that I went thru. I couldn't put my finger on it but he was different, he became almost obsessed with Lauren and me. He never wanted us to visit my mom or anyone without him. I put up with it for a few years because I really wanted to make things work for Lauren's sake but the truth was... that I never loved Chris the way I loved him when we first were in love, before Vegas. I didn't want Lauren growing up without a dad and that's why I stayed but it got to hard. He started to use words to try and hurt me to make me feel like I was nothing, that went on for awhile when I heard him tell Lauren who was just a toddler that I didn't love her and that she was his daughter no matter what and that he was never letting her or me go. He sounded crazy so I decided to leave, I told him it wasn't working out and... and.. and...Lets just say he didn't take it to well. I refused to go thru that type or any type of abuse ever again, I went thru that shit with Roxy growing up and I swore I would never put up with it again. I waited it out till the next day when he went to the gallery and I took Lauren and we stayed with a friend till I worked out what I was going to do next." Natalie said as john saw she was getting cold and he knew how hard this was for her, so he took the blanket and his arms and wrapped them both around Nat. she laid her head on his chest and he held her till she decided to finish her story.

" Kevin helped me get a quick divorce not needing Chris's consent, and he also pulled some strings with the custody agreement which pissed Chris off even more, for awhile I had to stay in the same state with Lauren for custody reason's but then again with Kevin's connections the agreement was amended that I could move out of state and that's when I moved back here." Nat said as she snuggled closer on his chest. She felt it, the safe place he had always held for her.

John held Nat to his chest never wanting to let go ever again. Not knowing if he was more mad at Chris for his behavior or at himself for leaving and not letting her know how much he loved her back then. Things could have been different for the both of them if he had just been able to deal with his own demons.


	6. Chapter 6

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**Chapter 6**

The next afternoon John was playing pool at Rodi's waiting to have lunch with Michael, Marcie, and their baby when he was wrapped up in thought. Thought about Nat and what she had been thru since he last saw her, all the things she had been thru as a child with Roxy, all the things she had been thru since she stepped foot in Llanview. His heart ached for her as he thought about things more and more. He started to feel more and more guilty as he just couldn't stop himself from thinking it was a mistake; he had made a mistake by leaving and not trying. He knew Chris wasn't the same after all the brain washing but he still stepped aside and let Chris have his wife back. Why was that? He thought, well he knew the answer to that question, it was because he didn't think he deserved her, deserved her love, he never trusted that she could love him as much if not more than Chris. He knew he was wrong in that thinking, he had seen a therapist after leaving Llanview at the demand of the FBI when rejoining and that's what he had learned. He learned a lot in his therapy sessions, he learned that he could say I love you and it didn't mean that something bad was going to happen to that person. He learned that he didn't have to be afraid to love again. John was brought out of his thoughts when he saw Lauren run into Rodi's. He watched Lauren go up to the side of the bar and smile as Mac spoke with her. John walked closer to the two of them and looked for Natalie. She wasn't there, who was Lauren here with? He asked himself.

" Hi, Lauren, remember me? We met in the park yesterday; I'm a friend of your mom's? Is she here? Who are you here with? " John asked Lauren as he approached her slowly.

" I member, you made me laugh, my daddy's here, he's in the car." Lauren said as she smiled and John and Mac exchanged a look. What the hell was he doing in the car and letting a three yr old go into a bar by herself. John thought to himself, as he got mad at the situation. If Natalie found out she would be pissed he thought.

" Lauren, why is your daddy still in the car?" John asked

" He on the phone, told me to come in an see uncle Mac." Lauren told John

" Come on, lets go call your mom" John said as he reached his hand out to walk with her over to one of the tables so they could call Natalie. Lauren took his hand and walked with him and smiled when Chris walked into Rodi's. Chris and John exchanged hateful glares and Chris walked closer to them.

"Lauren, honey why don't you go tell uncle Mac you want a soda, I need to talk to this man for a minute." Chris said not wanting Lauren to see his anger towards John.

" You mean Mommy's friend" Lauren said as Chris nodded and she walked back towards Mac at the bar. When Lauren was out of hearing distance Chris turned to John.

" Don't talk to my kid Mcbain, don't be nice to her and don't ever hold her hand. She's not Natalie, she won't love you, you are nothing to her." Chris said in a very controlled manner, which shocked John.

" While we're talking about don'ts, don't ever let a three year old walk in a parking lot alone, and don't ever let them out of your sight for a minute something might happen to them." John said as he turned half way around to walk away when he turned back towards Chris.

" Oh, I almost forgot, don't ever think about putting your hands on Natalie again..." John said in a stern voice loud enough for Chris to get the point but not loud enough for Lauren to here.


	7. Chapter 7

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**Chapter 7**

" Hey, Nat it's me and I'm at Rodi's and was wondering if you.. you.. wanted to have lunch with me and Michael and his family, call me." John said as he left Nat a voice mail. He looked across the room and watched Lauren and Chris eating their lunch. He saw the way she looked at him like he was the most important thing in the world to her. He became envious, envious again of something Chris had, something that he now knew Chris didn't deserve. Michael and Marcie and their six-month-old son walked in and came over towards John. John greeted them and they all talked and was having a good time but John didn't take his eye's off of Lauren for to long when he noticed Chris got a phone call and walked away from the table to take it. He noticed, Lauren looked upset with him taking the call and then she put her head down on the table and closed her eye's. Chris' back was to her and he didn't even turn around to check on her. John excused himself for a minute and went over to check on her.

"Lauren, are you alright? " John asked as he bent down to talk next to her ear.

" I'm tired, I wanna go home, I want mommy," She said as John looked at her and she looked like she couldn't keep her eye's open. John looked across the room again at Chris who was still talking on his phone with his back to Lauren.

John didn't care about Chris' early threats so he picked her up in his arms and she laid her head on his shoulder. She didn't seem right he thought, so he walked her over to the table where Michael was.

" Mikey, can you look at her, she.. she doesn't seem right " John asked of Michael as Michael got up and looked at her while John continued to hold her. As Michael was feeling her head and looking at her, Chris turned to see John holding her and he stormed over to them.

" I said don't touch my child Mcbain!" Chris said angrily as he was so angry he forgot to tone it down in front of Lauren. John shook his head and didn't say a word, nor did Michael as he continued to look over Lauren.

" Hand her to me now, she's not your child! " again Chris demanded losing his temper.

John was having a very hard time controlling his own anger at this point when Natalie walked into Rodi's. She saw the confrontation and Lauren almost sleeping in John's arms and she went right over to them.

" What's going on? " she said as she took Lauren out of John's arms.

"Nat, has Lauren been feeling sick lately? " Michael asked as Nat took a look at Lauren who seemed to be almost asleep. Nat too noticed she didn't look good.

" Michael, she doesn't look good, she hasn't been sick just a little tired lately." Nat said as she was trying not to panic. John and Chris just stood there staring at each other not saying a word.

" Don't jump to conclusions Nat she just might have a virus, why don't we take her to the hospital for some tests." Michael suggested not wanting to alarm Natty

" Why would she need tests if it could just be a virus?" Nat asked

" Natalie, a few tests to make sure it isn't anything serious which I'm sure it's not but also to make sure it's not something as simple as her being anemic. Michael said reassuring Natalie as she nodded her head and they turned to go to the hospital. Natalie turned to John ignoring Chris standing there.

"John, can... can you come with us? If you're not busy? " Natalie asked softly as John gave her a look telling her of course he would. He would do anything for Natalie and at this moment he realized he would do anything for her daughter also. John walked out with Natalie, Lauren, and Michael and left Chris standing there with Marcie and her baby.

" Who the hell does Natalie think she is? Asking John to come with them to the hospital when I'm Lauren's father." Chris said out loud not speaking to anyone.

" Nat's her mom that's who she is and you're just Lauren's dead beat dad" Marcie said as she took her son and left Rodi's. Chris was left there alone for a few minutes when he decided to go meet them at the hospital.

At the hospital John waited out in the lobby as Michael took Nat and Lauren in one of the rooms to take blood. John could hear Lauren crying from outside the office doors and it bothered him. Really bothered him, to a point where he wanted to rush right in there and take away her pain.

"This is the last one sweetheart, I promise" Michael said as he took the last tube of blood to be sent to the lab. He took a smear of blood and put it under the microscope for a quick look and came back over towards Nat and Lauren on the other side of the office.

" She's anemic Nat, that's probably why she's so tried, she just needs more iron. Don't worry this happens to a lot of kids." Michael said as he looked over Lauren's files that he had the nurse get from Lauren's pediatrician.

" Nat, it says here in her files her blood type is suppose to be O+." Michael says

" Yeah, so?" Natalie asked

" It's wrong, my tests show she's A+" Mike said

" It can't be wrong Michael, that's what the doctor told me when she was born and Chris and I are both O so she couldn't be A, Right?" Natalie asked getting confused. Nat knew Michael was good at this stuff and she never doubted anything he would tell her. Michael motioned for Nat to sit while she was still holding Lauren.

" Nat, are you sure Chris is type O? Cause if you are it's...it's not possible for him to be Lauren's dad." Michael said


	8. Chapter 8

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* * *

**Chapter 8**

" Michael, what are you saying? " Nat asked as she let it sink in, sink in that Chris couldn't be Lauren's dad. She thought about it, while she was stunned and then it hit her. Chris knew, he knew and he had the doctor change things, change things like her due date, Lauren's blood type. She realized why he was acting so weird after her first doctor's visit. She remembered how friendly he and her doctor were and it all added up. But how could she prove it and prove it so quickly. She was brought out of her thoughts when Michael approached her and Lauren.

" You know what I'm saying Nat, what do you want to do about it and you know who's child Lauren is if she's not Chris' don't you? " Michael asked now knowing Lauren was his niece.

Natalie got an idea and she discussed it with Michael. Michael went out to the lobby to see John there and then he saw Chris walk in.

" Chris, thank god you're here, " Michael said urgently as he motioned for Chris to follow him into the exam room. John didn't know what was going on so he followed behind them both, in the exam room was Nat and Lauren wasn't there.

" Nat, what's going on? Where's Lauren? " Chris asked as he thought Natalie looked upset. Nat acted like she couldn't form any words and John wasn't quite sure what to make of all of it.

" Their prepping her in the other room, she needs some sort of blood transfusion, I'm anemic so she needs your blood Chris." Natalie said purposely in a jumbled manner.

" What?" Chris asked confused

" There isn't time for questions Chris, sit down the nurse is going to start a line to take your blood and give it to Lauren, it's very important that we don't waste anytime. She's sicker than any of us knew." Michael told him as he pushed him back into a chair and started to probe his veins to find a good one for the line.

" Wait a minute" Chris said getting up out of the chair

" Can she die without my blood? Without a blood match? " Chris said pacing around the room nervously

" Chris! Stop being an asshole and do what your daughter needs you to do for once in your life!" Natalie said getting angry and very emotional

" I am!" he shouted back

"Then sit down and give your daughter some of your damn blood!" Natalie again yelled

"I can't! She's not my daughter!" Chris yelled back at Natalie in all the confusion and he looked at John.

" He needs to give her the blood, He's probably a match" Chris said pointing at John feeling defeated

"What are you talking about Chris? How selfish could you be? " Natalie said looking stunned and angry. John was looking stunned also, anger for him didn't happen yet.

"It's to long of a story to get into now, but I'm not her father, John is" Chris said as Natalie went over to him and punched him in the gut. Chris stood up after she punched him holding his stomach and watched John.

John heard the words but was still very unsure of what the hell was going on when without hesitation he jumped in the chair to have his blood drawn.

" What are you waiting for Mikey, take my blood if it's going to make her better" John said as he was beginning to get nervous himself. Natalie realized she got enough of a confession from Chris and they stopped the charade.

" John she isn't really sick, I'm sorry, I just wanted to get Chris to admit that he knew she wasn't his, and I'm sure there's a lot more he has to admit too also." Natalie said looking at John and then she walked into the other room and the nurse handed her a sleeping Lauren. Natalie walked over to John who was still dumbfounded by the whole situation. She handed Lauren to John. John took Lauren from her arms without hesitation.

"She's your daughter John and I'm not sure how we're all going to handle this but we will." Natalie told him after handing her over to him.


	9. Chapter 9

ABC owns them.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

John took Lauren from Nat's arms and looked at her in his arms. She was sleeping and he could feel her warmth. John didn't know what to do first, he knew what he wanted to, he wanted to beat the crap out of Chris even more now than when he found out what he had put Natalie thru. He decided it was best to leave all that anger inside for now, for now since he was holding his daughter for the first time since finding out the truth. Her hair was covering part of her face, which was resting on his chest so he gently pushed it aside so he could look at her. Get a good look at her. He saw her start to move a little and he smiled.

" I don't know what to say, she's really mine, she's my daughter, it's a little overwhelming but, in a good way." John said, out loud, as he looked over at Natalie who had tears in her eyes. Natalie was on the verge of crying, he was so sweet with Lauren, and she just fit his arms as if she was a piece of his puzzle. She had never seen as much love and affection for Lauren from Chris ever and now she knew why.

Michael could see that John and Nat needed some alone time with Lauren when he motioned for Chris to leave with him, but Chris stood his ground and wouldn't leave.

" I'm not going anywhere, she has been my daughter for the past three years and she will continue to be my daughter, I don't care whose blood she has." Chris said looking at John. Lauren moved around in John's arms and started to wake when she heard Chris' loud voice.

If John wasn't enraged before he was now. He handed Lauren over to Natalie and he walked over to Chris, staring him down.

" Excuse us while Chris and I go outside to have a little talk" John said as he motioned for Chris to go first out the door. Chris didn't move and John started to pull him by the collar out the door.

"No John, he's not worth it and we need to figure out what to.. how to.. handle this" Natalie said stopping John as he was continuing to pull Chris out the door. She still had Lauren in her arms and then she asked Michael to take her out into the lobby with him so she, John and Chris could discuss what was best for Lauren. The three stood in complete silence for a few moments gathering their thoughts when Natalie spoke.

" You need to go back to NY Chris, stop calling to speak to Lauren, she will just forget about you and she will learn to Love John as he spends more and more time with her. I'm sure she won't miss you for long since she hardly ever saw or heard from you anyways." Natalie said looking Chris straight in the eyes.

" I'm not going anywhere!" Chris demanded, as he got closer to Natalie. John saw him move closer to Nat and he jumped in between them.

" Don't even think about it!" John told Chris into his face while they were face to face with John's back to Natalie.

"Chris, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. You no longer have any legal rights to Lauren and if you want to pursue things than I'm going to press charges, press charges about everything. Lets see how many paintings you sell after I tell the world you were abusive. " Natalie said towards Chris for she couldn't see him, John was blocking her view.

"I was never interested in raising McBain's spawn anyways, I just didn't want him to know about her, she's too much like her mother." Chris said spitefully as before he could get the last words out John pulled his arm back and punched him across the jaw. Chris stumbled backwards stunned for he didn't see it coming, that last comment more than made a bad situation worse so Natalie feeling like she just needed to hurt Chris again went around John after he punched him and kneed Chris in the groin. Chris hunched over in pain and John leaned down near his ear.

"If you ever go near my daughter or Natalie again I'll kill you " John whispered into Chris' ear and then he and Natalie walked out of the room.

Nat and John walked out into the waiting area and saw Michael sitting with Lauren on his lap. She looked better Nat thought, not as pale since they found out about why she was so tired lately, she was awake and seem to have plenty of energy. John walked over to Lauren and sat down next to her and Michael.

" Hey, are you feeling better? " John asked her softly almost afraid to talk to her. Almost afraid that she wouldn't like him, or even that she could never love him.

" Yeah, I'm all better says Dr. Mikey." Lauren said to John as she noticed her mom standing behind him.

" Mommy, I wanna go to the park, daddy promised." Lauren said to Nat as Nat moved next to her

" Lauren honey it's to cold for the park, how about we go home and you can play with your toys, or we can even watch that new DVD grandpa sent you?" Natalie asked shaking her head thinking how crazy Chris was to even suggest taking her to play at the park on a cold winter day in January.

"Can I have popcorn and ice cream while we watch?" Lauren asked excited and Natalie shook her head yes.

"Maybe my friend John would like to come too, why don't you ask him " Nat told Lauren. Lauren turned and faced John again. John looked straight into her beautiful innocent eyes and felt like he was going to melt.

" Wanna come? " Lauren asked and John nodded yes. Natalie picked Lauren up off Michael's lap and put her down so she could walk and the three of them started to walk out of the hospital when they saw Chris come out of the exam room. He was no longer holding his stomach or his manhood and he looked down as he walked trying to avoid eye contact with Lauren. Lauren saw Chris and smiled.

" Dadddy! I thought you left, we going home to watch a movie, wanna come? " Lauren asked Chris as Chris bent down to her.

" No, not today babe, I've got to get back to NY, really important stuff I have to do, and.. and I might not be able to see you for a while or even talk to you but make sure you take care of yourself. " Chris said while turning his head up slightly looking at John and walking away quickly.

"Daddy.. you didn't kiss me goodbye.." Lauren whined upset with tears in her eye's as she watched Chris walk away.

John bent down to her eye level and took his finger and gently wiped away one of her tears that escaped her eyes.

" Vanilla or Chocolate? " John asked Lauren

" What?" Lauren asked confused

" Do you like Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?" John asked as the three of them again started walking down the hall to go home.

It had been a very long day with all that had happen and at about seven o'clock after they had pizza, Lauren was exhausted, the three of them watched more than one kids DVD and Natalie wasn't sure if John knew what he was in for. He watched her all afternoon and evening like he had never seen anything so amazing before and he even played Barbie's with her. Natalie laughed when she watched him try and dress her babies, it was probably the funniest thing she had seen in a long time.

John was upstairs putting Lauren to bed while Nat was down stairs still thinking about all that happened between today and yesterday. The last two days seem to go one as if they were weeks, John had come back for a visit and he had found out he was a father. She had found out he was Lauren's real father, did that change things, she thought. He said he never stopped loving me and now we know about Lauren. She was brought out of her thoughts when John cleared his throat. Natalie looked and saw him standing over by the bottom of the stairs, near the door.

" She's a sleep, she had me read her some fairy tale book with a glass slipper and after only a few pages into it, she was already asleep." John said watching Natalie closely as she walked closer to him. They stared at each other for a few minutes neither of them speaking or knowing what exactly to say to the other. Finally after a few minutes the silence was broken.

" I guess I'll go know, it's been a long day, I know we have a lot of things to discuss but it's probably best for it to wait till tomorrow." John said hesitating while walking closer to the door. He was stalling; he didn't want to leave, not tonight, and not ever again. He was almost out the door when Natalie called out to him.

"Do ya wanna stay a little longer? I mean if you don't have anything to do. We could watch some television, real shows not the kid stuff we just watched most of the day." Natalie asked almost afraid too. Afraid because she didn't want him to go.

"No, I don't have anything to do, I wouldn't mind watching a little TV and relaxing." John said as he headed back into the house away from the door. He walked over to Natalie and she was smiling.

"Great, why don't you find something good to watch, I'll be down in a minute I'm going to check on Lauren." Natalie said not even trying to hide the smile on her face.

John sat on the couch flipping thru the channels with the remote control. She asked him to stay, he thought. Today had been a roller coaster ride of emotions for all of them, he just couldn't believe it, he was a dad, he had a daughter, and Lauren was his child, his child with Natalie. He wondered how things could get any better than that when he saw Natalie walk into the living room in her favorite pajama's.

John laughed and Natalie smiled.

" What? " Nat asked as John continued to chuckle

"It's been four years and I can't believe you still have those kitty pajama's" John replied with a smirk on his face.

" There comfortable" Natalie said as she sat down next to him on the couch.

" I can tell, there faded, maybe you should get new ones," John said with his smirk never leaving his face

" I don't just get rid of things that are comfortable even if they are a little faded" Nat said as she moved closer to John, she leaned in and so did he and they kissed.


	10. Chapter 10 Smut

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* * *

**Chapter 10(NC-17)**

John and Nat pulled away for a minute after kissing and looked at each other. John got up and walked by the door, grabbing his coat he started to open the door, when Natalie pushed it closed.

"Natalie, now probably isn't a good time for this, we have so much to work out, it's been a lo------" John said as he was interrupted by Nat's lips on his.

Natalie didn't want to talk, she didn't want him to talk, she wanted to feel, feel him, feel their bodies together as one like they used to. She needed it to feel how it used to; she needed to feel him make everything better with his touch.

John didn't waste anytime kissing her back when he moved her backwards towards the stairs. They were so wrapped up in their kissing and the movement of their hands on each other's bodies that they didn't realize they never made it up on a step of the stairs. John just pushed Nat's back up against the stairs and continued to urgently kiss her lips, sliding his tongue in and out of her mouth tasting every inch of it. One hand went on her hip and the other went behind her head pulling her mouth even closer and made their kissing more urgent, then John's mouth started to travel down from her lips to her neck. He continued to kiss her neck as he brought his hands up to her breasts. He caressed her nipples over the tank of her pajamas and she arched her back up. He teased each nipple one at a time with his thumb as he brought his mouth down from her neck to help his hands. His hand played with her right nipple over the material of her clothes and with the other hand he pushed the other side of her tank up above her left breast and his mouth took her left nipple in.

Natalie was having a hard time breathing, she took her own hand while John was showing her breast such pleasure and started rubbing her hand up and down over his penis that was still restricted by his jeans. John was enjoying the sweet taste and the sensation of Nat's breasts when he thought he heard her speak.

" John" Natalie said softly not being able to catch her breath

"We need to go in the bedroom, take me," Natalie said as John lifted her off the steps and her arms went around his neck. They continued to kiss and he carried her up into her bedroom. John laid her on the bed and went back to the door and locked it. He started to walk back to the bed when he stopped and looked at her on the bed. She had taken all her clothes off when he went to lock the door. Rather quickly he noted to himself and then smiled. He noticed how her body had changed for the better since the last time they made love four years ago and he continued to smile at her. She smiled back and got impatient that he wasn't moving towards the bed and sat up on the edge of the it. John moved till he was standing in front of her sitting on the edge of the bed and Natalie reached out and undid his belt that was lower than her eye level. As she undid his belt John quickly unbuttoned his shirt and thru it to the floor. Once Natalie was done with his belt she opened the button on his jeans and unzipped them. She pushed both his jeans and boxers down his legs together and she looked up at him before she took his penis into her mouth. John took his hands and tangled them in the back of her hair as he tried to hold on to control. He tried and tried harder to hold on to that control as Natalie took him into her mouth deeper and deeper, over and over, as if she was on a mission, a mission to drive him crazy. John was on the verge of losing it when he pulled on her shoulder telling her to move up on him. Natalie slowly moved up his body, rubbing hers up against him the whole way up to stand in front of him.

John stared into her eye's that looked like they were on fire and he pushed her gently back on the bed. He stood there and decided he wanted to explore her body. He started with her ankle and he caressed it as he continued up her body, he placed small kisses on her leg and calf as he made his way up towards her thigh. As he approached her thigh his tongue made it's way out of his mouth and he started to lick the inside of her thigh getting closer, closer, and closer to her warm wet core. Natalie knew where he was heading with his tongue and she parted her legs giving him full access. John's tongue started to tease Nat's core with it's back and forth motion, and then the circular motion he used on her with his tongue made Natalie lose control. Her body started to quiver and she squealed out his name. John smiled knowing he brought her to that place he was always able to. John didn't stop using his tongue on her even when he felt her coming down first her first orgasm. He knew Natalie, he knew her too well, she had more, much more, so he continued his assault on her core, when she begged him to move up on her. John moved up on her body resting his mouth again on her breasts. His tongue went to work on one of her nipples, licking it round and round till finally he decided to do something he remembered made her crazy. He sucked on her nipple and got it nice and wet and then blew air on it sending shivers up and down her body. He felt Natalie become anxious as it drove her crazy and she tried to pull him up by his arms but he wasn't budging.

" Johnnnnnnnn..." Nat said as she could barely talk when he continued with the sensation of the cold and dry blowing of her nipples, he was really enjoying himself by making her crazy when he decided to test and see if she was really ready for him. He took two fingers and slide them inside her core and there was no doubt as he slide them in and out that she was more than ready, more than ready for him. John reached up with his mouth and took hers with his urgently; his hands pushed her arms back behind her head as he entered her. They moved in perfect sync as if there bodies remembered there dance and finally John felt Nat's walls tighten their grip on him even more, as if everything that was lost the last few years was found, they climaxed together staring into each others eye's.


	11. Chapter 11

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* * *

**Chapter 11**

Morning came faster than John had wanted it to. They had made love several times last night as if trying to make up for lost time. John was holding Nat with her back to his chest and he couldn't help but wonder. Wonder how he could be so lucky as to been able to touch her again, to feel her again, to hold her again. He dreamt about this almost every night for the past four years. It was one of those dreams that left you feeling warm inside until you realized it was just a dream. John heard the knob of the door start to turn and looked to make sure he had locked it right last night. Then he heard Lauren and he nudged Natalie to get up.

"Nat, Lauren's up. What should I do? " John asked as he tried to wake Nat from her peaceful sleep.

" Mommy! Why is your door locked? "Lauren yelled thru the door into the bedroom.

" John, jumped up as if a parent just caught him in their daughters room and searched for his clothes. Natalie woke when she heard Lauren's demanding voice and watched John scrambling for his clothes and she laughed.

" What are you laughing at? " John asked as he buttoned his shirt

" You" Nat said and she continued to laugh some more

" I'm glad you think it's so funny. She could see us, she would know that we.. that we.. you know, made love last night. " John said still not thinking this was so funny.

" John, she's three. She doesn't understand things like that, I'll go make her breakfast, come down when you're ready and if she asks we'll just say you slept over in the extra bedroom. Okay? " Natalie said as she found her kitty PJ's and put them one. She walked over to the door to open it and John stopped her.

" We didn't do much talking last night and I didn't get to tell you, tell you how much you mean to me" John said realizing he still hadn't officially told her he loved her. John knew last night would have been the perfect time to tell her, after they made love but he just didn't. He had told her that he never stopped loving her but she needed to know it now, especially now after what they experienced last night over and over again, each time better than the time before, each time bringing them closer and more closer. Closer than he remembers them ever being.

" Then tell me" Nat replied

" I ---" John began to say when Lauren knocked on the door again and continued to knock till finally Nat had, had enough. She gently kissed John's lips.

" She's not use to me locking the door and I guess she feels shut out. You can tell me later how you feel, I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say." Nat said and she turned and left the room. John got dressed and went down stairs into the kitchen; he opened the door and couldn't help but smile. He noted to himself that he was doing a lot of that these last few days and shook his head as he watched Natalie and Lauren having breakfast.

Lauren sat on one of the chairs but was barely tall enough to see over the table so she was sitting on her knees and Natalie sat across from her sipping her coffee. Natalie was staring into space, he wasn't quite sure what she was so lost in thought about but he had hoped it was him, them. John cleared his throat and both Nat and Lauren looked up at him.

Nat didn't say a word and got up and fixed him a cup of coffee, she placed it in front of him and he smiled a thank you back to her. Lauren didn't even acknowledge the fact that John was in the room. She seemed to get a little sad even when he entered the room. John realized it and he became worried. Worried that she would never adjust to the idea that she was his daughter. His daughter and not Chris', that she wouldn't take the news well when they finally found the right time to tell her.

' Hey, whatcha eatin?" John asked Lauren trying to get her to cheer up.

"Frosted fakes" Lauren answered and then turned to Nat.

"We have our special day, today, yes" Lauren asked Nat.

" Yea, today is Sunday that's our day, I thought it would be nice if John spent it with us" Natalie told Lauren as she saw Lauren's mood get worse.

" No, our day, us" Lauren said as she looked at John who was hurt by her stubborn attitude.

" Lauren, sometimes we let aunt Jess and your cousin Tyler come with us on our special day, I think John would really like spending the day with us" Nat told Lauren softly trying to figure out why the child was so upset with john, she seem to take to him over the last few days and she even seem to be having fun with him yesterday when they all spent time together.

" No, Mommy! Me and you, daddy isn't allowed so John isn't" Lauren said jealously

" Lauren, your not being nice and you're hurting John's feelings. Say you're sorry" Natalie told her three year old.

" I'm sorry" Lauren said sulking

" That's alright Lauren, I.. I have something to do today with my brother Michael. But I'd like to maybe take you and mommy out for dinner, if that's alright, I'll even let you pick your favorite place to eat" John said as he moved over to her and touched her cheek softly and looked her in the eye's and her face softened. John smiled as he saw the change in her face and so did she.

"Chuck E Cheese's? " Lauren asked

"Where ever you want to go," John told her and he excused himself. He walked out to the front door and Natalie walked with him.

At the door John turned to Natalie.

"After dinner tonight I think we need to have that talk, maybe when she goes to bed? We have so much we have to decide on and I need to know where I'm going to fit into her life and yours. But... maybe you could ask someone to come and watch her so we could go out and have our talk." John said

" Why? We can just talk here maybe rent a movie" Nat asked confused because she and John were the same with rather being home and comfortable than out and about.

"I'd love to stay here and watch a movie and talk but after last night and with the way I feel, I just don't think we'd be getting any talking done" John said with a smile as he reached his hand out and put it under her chin. He pulled her chin towards his and they kissed. John left and Nat returned to Lauren in the kitchen so they could begin their special day together.

Later that night John was putting Lauren to bed after they had a wonderful and fun time at Chuck E's. John was a little exhausted and deaf from running after Lauren and from all the noise. He just wasn't use to this kids stuff, he thought, but I better get use to it and fast. He told himself.

Natalie sat on the couch waiting for Rex to come and stay with Lauren when she couldn't help but think. think about how all of this was going to play out. how Lauren was going to take the news of John being her dad and she wondered how she felt about it. How she felt about John being in Lauren's life, being in her life, was she ready to let him be in her life again, let him in her life completely. She knew she still loved him; all those feeling came back up to the surface when she saw him the other day, as if she never pushed them down to her soul in the first place. Nat was brought out of he thoughts when she heard him coming down the stairs.

"She's asleep," John said. Nat was about to talk when the doorbell rang. It was Rex, so John and Nat left. John drove to the angel square hotel and parked the car.

"Here?" Natalie asked

" Yeah, Here" John answered as he saw Nat looked confused.

"We always did our best talking here on the roof," John said and Nat shook her head.

" Alright, But it's January and really cold out."

" Don't worry I have plenty of blankets" John said and he gave her his half smirk that she loved so much. Nat followed John to the roof. They sat on a bench and covered themselves with the mountain of blankets that John must have bought earlier today for they still had tags on them.

" So we need to talk, where do you want to start first? " Nat asked as she snuggled up with blankets up to almost her eyeballs.

" I think we should talk about us first, about the way I feel about you, the way you make me feel when I'm near you" John said as he moved closer to her on the bench as they sat with blankets between them.


	12. Chapter 12

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* * *

**Chapter 12**

"Natalie, you make me feel alive, I feel alive again when I'm with you, when I was gone I just worked and slept, I didn't feel or even live. The last time I remembered feeling alive was the last time we make love before you found out about Chris being alive. Last night, it was unbelievable, it was something I never experienced before, I mean we were great back then but last night I felt I could give myself to you completely something I could never do before because in my head you were always Chris' wife and I knew he was alive. I'm really not sure if I'm saying all of this right, you know how I am with words." John said as he looked into her eyes

"I think you're doing just fine," Nat said as she gave him a small smile. And nudged him to continue

"I want so much to be a part of your life now, a part of Lauren's life. I have so much time to make up for, if that's alright with you?" John asked

"I would like that, I think Lauren could really use a fathers influence like you could give her. I too felt something different last night, something that put me in a complete sense of safeness, a sense that my heart, my soul, was finally home. It was definitely different, you were different, a good different." Nat said as she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Don't leave me again, John. I love you," Nat said softly when she pulled away from his mouth. John pulled back a little and was unsure how to tell her this. Tell her that he had to leave for only a few weeks, he wasn't quite sure how she was going to react, he had to make her understand that he had to finish something that he started, and then after, he was all hers, all theirs, forever.

"Nat, I don't ever want to leave you, nor do I ever want to leave Lauren but.. I.. this.. This was suppose to be just a few days off to recuperate until I had to go back on the assignment I was on before, with the FBI. I have a few more weeks before we should catch the bad guys and then I'll be done. Natalie..." John said as he saw her back up on the bench, she got teary eyed and he knew why.

" You have to leave? You just got here?" Natalie said as she tried to stop them from coming, the tears, how much she didn't want him to see her cry. John took his hand and wiped a few tears off her cheek and he held her cheek for a few minutes trying to get her to look at him since she was now looking at the ground.

" Look at me. Look at me Natalie, I wouldn't be going if I didn't have to and you know how good I am at my job. I just need to finish this case and then I'll be back and then nothing will take me away from you again, away from the two of you ever again. John said as Natalie looked into his blue eyes.

"What if you don't come back? What if something happens to you? I've just gotten you back in my life after all these years, now I should just let you go for a few weeks and do something dangerous, how can I be sure you'll be coming back and coming back alive? " Natalie said again as a few tears left her eye's and traveled down her cheeks.

" I'll be coming back, and alive. I promise, I love you too much to let anything happen to me. I love you too much not to come back to you and to our daughter. Do you even realize what you've given me?" John said as he held Nat's cheeks with both hands this time. Natalie didn't know what to say and when she tried she couldn't speak.

" You've given me love Natalie, your love, a child, a child to love, things I never though I would ever have in my life nor did I ever think I deserved. Please, I know you want to shut me out now but don't" John said as he leaned in for a tender kiss and then she willingly moved into his open arms and he held her. After a few minutes Natalie broke the silence.

"I'm not gonna throw this away John, you just better keep your promises, I'm not sure I could handle it if you didn't" Nat said as she pulled away from him so she could look into his eye's again

"Now as for Lauren, I'm sorry but, I don't think it's a good idea to tell Lauren that your her dad till you come back. I don't want her to think all dad's go away. I want her to see you stay, and for her to feel that you'll always be here." Nat said trying not to hurt John's feeling but she had to keep Lauren's feeling safe. The kid had already been thru so much in the few years of her life and she wanted John to have a good chance at a relationship with his daughter and she wasn't sure if it was possible if John left right after telling her the truth.

John looked away from Nat for a few seconds and thought about what she had said. She said she wasn't gonna throw it away, throw them away, he thought, she understood, she understood he wouldn't go unless it was necessary and then he'd be back, back to his family, he again thought, but they weren't really were they? Lauren was biologically his but not legally, and Natalie, well she wasn't his wife legally either just in his heart. He came to a few conclusions in his head about them being his family and about what Nat said about telling Lauren, then he turned back to look at her.

"I understand that you have to worry about Lauren in this, and It can wait till I get back, but when I do get back I want her name to be legally changed, I want her birth records to be changed, as soon as she knows I want her to have my name and I want you to have it too." John said waiting to see her reaction. Natalie heard him and it almost sounded like he said he wanted both of them to have his last name. Natalie wasn't sure how to handle that so she just dismissed it for now.

" Did you hear me Natalie? I want to give both of you my name? " John said as he knew she heard him the first time and he was beginning to get nervous at her reactions to his words.

" I heard you the first time John, what ever you want with Lauren as long as she doesn't get hurt but for me.. Lets just wait till you get back to discuss us. Now, don't go thinking I'm never gonna entertain the idea nor do I want to because it's not true, I.I.. just think it's best to wait till you get back to make plans like that. I love you, and you know that." Natalie said as she was starting to get really cold .

" I'm getting really cold can we go?" Nat asked and John nodded yes. they left and John drove Nat back to the cottage. John walked Nat to the door and opened the lock and they went in. Rex was a sleep on the couch and they woke him and he left. John walked over to Natalie gave her a kiss and walked over to the door to leave.

"Where are you going Mcbain? " Natalie asked before he got out the door.

" Don't you want to have a sleep over?" Natalie asked as John quickly closed the door and walked over towards her.


	13. Chapter 13

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**Chapter 13**

John woke up and he didn't feel her next to him. He sat up and looked around the room and he still didn't see her so he decided to get dressed and go down stairs to find her. He looked at the clock and it was five am, five am he thought this time tomorrow I'll be waking up alone in some dingy hotel. He walked over to her dresser to look in the mirror as he tucked in his shirt and he stared at himself. He really stared at himself as if trying to see inside, inside to his soul. When he thought about his soul all he could envision was Natalie, she gave him back his soul. He smiled as he thought about her and turned to see her at the door.

" How long have you been standing there?" he asked

" Few minutes" she said as she handed him a cup of coffee

"I couldn't sleep so, I figured I'd get a jump on my day. What...what time are you leaving today? " Nat asked not really wanting to think about it.

" I have to be on the road by two, do you have to work today? " john asked

" No, I called and left Kevin a voice mail at the office that I wouldn't be in"

"Good, I want to spend as much time with you and Lauren as I can before I have to go" John said as he saw she got tears in her eyes and he reached his hand over and pulled her into an embrace.

The day went faster then the three of them would have liked. John had left for a little time in the morning but wasn't gone very long. John spent as much time with Nat and Lauren as he could, just hanging around the house doing normal everyday things.

" I've gotta go" John said as he kneeled down in front of Lauren

" I know we've just started to get to know each other but I've really had fun spending time with you and when I get back as long as it's alright with you I'd like for us to spend a lot more time together. Take care of your mom for me and make sure she doesn't forget to read you your favorite stories before bed." John said as he saw Lauren look a little sad when she looked back at him. It gave him hope that maybe she could someday accept him as her dad.

" Bye, John" she said and she hugged him. The hug took him by surprise and almost made him lose his balance while he was still on his knees. A smile came across his face and he looked at Natalie while he continued to still hold Lauren in a hug. Lauren let go and John stood and walked over to Nat.

Nat promised herself she would be strong about him leaving today. She was so afraid that something was going to happen to him and he wouldn't be coming back to them, she shook her head clear of those thoughts as she saw him move closer to her and bring his hand to her cheek. They stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes before John spoke.

" I love you, I'll call when I can, I'm just not sure when it will be. Don't forget I always keep my promises" John said and he leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

" I love you too.." Nat said as a whisper barely able to get the words out of her mouth. John turned towards the door and then left. Nat went over to Lauren who looked a little affected by John's leaving and she stood behind her and put her hands down on her shoulders.

" He coming back mommy? " Lauren asked

" Yes, He's come back as soon as he can" Nat said as she kissed the top of Lauren's head.

It had been two weeks and still Natalie hadn't heard anything from John. It was now Feb and Valentine's Day wasn't far off. Natalie had so hoped he would be home for valentine's day but with the way things were going it just didn't seem like it was going to happen. It was late and Nat was putting Lauren to bed.

" What book should we read tonight?" Nat asked Lauren

" My fairy tale book" Lauren answered sitting up in her bed with the covers over her.

"Okey, dokey one fairy tale coming right up" Nat said as she reached for the book on Lauren's top shelf, she noticed a long pink ribbon hanging out of it like a book mark. She opened the book to see the ribbon was attached to something. She looked quick and she thought she was seeing things. So she took the ribbon out of the book and attached to it was the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen, there was also a child size locket attached to the ribbons with a letter.

" What's a matta Mommy? " Lauren asked as she saw Nat pause to read the letter. Natalie motioned that Lauren wait a minute while she read the letter.

Nat,

This ring was my grandmothers' and I know she would want you to have it. I know you said we would discuss it when I get back but I wanted to leave it with you as a promise that nothing is going to happen to me, I'll be back as soon as I can. Wear it if you want to or just keep it close to your heart and know when I get back, we'll make it real. Even if I have to ask your dad and get on one knee. I love you. Give Lauren the locket from me and don't forget to look inside it.

John

Natalie's eye's started swelling up with tears as she held the ring, it wasn't a big diamond but just perfect and it had a beautiful setting. Natalie just stared at it for a few more minutes till Lauren spoke.

" What is it? " Lauren asked as Nat looked at her and handed her the locket.

" It's a locket for you from John. Lets open it and see what's inside." Nat said as she placed the locket on the palm of Lauren's hand and she opened it. Natalie smiled when she saw a tiny picture of herself on one side and a tiny picture of John on the other.

Lauren took the locket and looked at the two pictures in it and didn't think anything of it, she tried to put it on her neck but was unable to when Natalie helped her with it.

" Are you sure you want to wear it to bed? " Natalie asked as she helped Lauren put it on.

" Yes" Lauren answered and Nat decided the chain was too short to hurt Lauren while she slept. She said good night to Lauren and went to leave when Lauren spoke.

" I like him, he nice" Lauren said

"He sure is babe, now get some sleep" Natalie replied as she turned off the light in Lauren's room and went down stairs to the kitchen. Natalie held the ring in her hand tightly as if being afraid it might disappear and she continued towards the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Natalie looked out the window next to the door and saw it was Carlotta; she let her in.

" I wanted to see Lauren, I didn't realize how late it was" Carlotta told Natalie as she entered the house.

" She's already in bed but she might still be awake if you'd like to go up and see her" Nat told Carlotta as Carlotta turned to the stairs and went up to see if she was still awake.

When Carlotta got to Lauren's room she noticed she was already asleep and she went in over by her on the bed and kissed her forehead when Carlotta saw the locket on Lauren's neck. Carlotta opened it gently trying not to wake Lauren and she saw the pictures in it. She closed the locket while sporting a stern look and headed down stairs to talk to Natalie.

Natalie was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea when Carlotta stormed down the stairs.

" Why is my granddaughter wearing a locket with John Mcbain in it? Is Mcbain back and are the two of you together?" Carlotta asked demanding answers

"Carlotta, I love you dearly but it really is none of your business" Natalie told her as she didn't like the tone in Carlotta's voice.

"Wait till my son hears about this, his daughter having a picture of that man, on her neck."

" Carlotta, I think you need to talk with Chris before you start getting upset with things you know nothing about." Natalie said as she showed her the door.

" That's just what I'll do then" Carlotta said and left the cottage


	14. Chapter 14

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**Chapter 14**

John stood by the bed in the dingy Hotel room that he had called home for the last two and half weeks. He caught his guy like he always did and was packing his stuff so he could head home. Head home to his daughter, his Natalie, his life. He hadn't been able to call this whole time and he wanted to get on the road as quickly as possible so he could get back to them, get back to them today, Valentine's day. He thought about calling her from the car but he wanted to surprise them. He finished packing his things and got on the road, five hours he thought, five hours and I'll be right where I belong with them and I'm never leaving again.

Natalie and Lauren sat at a booth at Capricorn with Rex. Rex knew Nat was upset with not hearing from John and with it being Valentine's. Rex had wanted to keep Nat's mind off things so he decided to take his two favorite ladies out for dinner. Lauren was just finishing up dessert when Nat reached up with her hand and a napkin to wipe ice cream off her face when Rex grabbed her hand and pulled it to him.

" What's this I see? Is it a ring? An engagement ring? " Rex said and Natalie gave him an angry look telling him to drop it because Lauren knew nothing about it.

Natalie looked at her finger with the ring on it and couldn't help but smile. She thought for a few minutes how this morning when she was getting dressed that she decided to put it on her finger. It had been almost a week since she found it in Lauren's book and Nat still couldn't believe how romantic John was by putting in there. She had been keeping it with her every second of every day for the past week as if it was a piece of him, of John, how she had hoped he would be coming back to them soon, coming back to them alive. She shook her head of that last thought as she heard Rex speak again about the ring.

" Rex" Natalie motioned with her head that she didn't want Lauren to hear anything about it.

" I didn't know things were that serious with Jo--, Mr. goody two shoes" Rex said as not wanting to drop this.

" Now isn't the time or place for us to be discussing this Rex. We can talk later." Natalie said as her cell phone rang. She picked it up and it was Carlotta asking if she and Lauren could stop by the diner that she had spoken with Chris and that she owed Nat an apology. Nat tried to get out of it and said Lauren was tired but Carlotta had insisted so Nat and Lauren left Rex and made agreements to meet him later at the cottage to watch a movie.

Natalie walked into the diner with Lauren but it looked strange. It was dark, almost as if it was closed but the door was unlocked. As soon as Nat walked over to the counter she knew, she knew she had been set up. There were a few candles lit on the counter and a stuffed heart for Lauren. Before she could turn and leave Chris came out from the back and Lauren saw him.

Meanwhile... John arrived at the cottage and waited outside on the swing for Natalie to come home. Her car wasn't here so he knew she was probably out. He had been waiting there for about thirty minutes when he saw Rex come over by the front door. Rex didn't see him at first and jumped when John called his name.

" Hey, you're back" Rex said

" Yeah, do you know where Nat and Lauren are? " John asked

" They should be back here by now?" Rex said confused

" What do you mean by now?" John asked starting to get an uneasy feeling about him

"She was suppose to meet me here after she had a talk with Carlotta" Rex said as he saw John not waste anytime. John didn't say another word and got into his car. He had an uneasy feeling that just wouldn't go away, so he headed for the diner.

-

Back at the diner

" Daddy!" Lauren said and she ran into Chris' arms, Natalie was starting to get a little nervous, a little nervous and pissed. Pissed that Carlotta would do something like this. Carlotta always felt Chris and Nat belonged together and Natalie knew Carlotta didn't know about the abuse. Natalie hadn't told the Vega's about it, heck she hadn't told anybody in her family other than Jessica.

" Lauren, we really have to go, uncle Rex is waiting in the car for us" Nat said lying trying to make him believe they weren't alone.

" No he not" Lauren said giving away the truth. Natalie walked a little closer to the two of them and started to feel shaky, and shakier as she became closer and closer to him.

" We'll have to see Daddy another time, Lauren we have to go" Natalie said as she attempted to pick Lauren up, when Chris stopped her.

"I just want to spend a little time with my girls" Chris said with an evil smirk as he looked at Nat.

" We have to go" Nat said as she was really becoming unraveled. She grabbed for Lauren and Chris grabbed her wrist tightly to stop her.

" Chris, don't do this" Natalie warned him as he gave her an evil grin

" Lauren, Grandma's upstairs why don't you go see her? " Chris told her while still holding Nat's wrist hurting her. Nat was about to say something but thought it best for Lauren not to be down here, she wasn't quite sure what Chris was capable of anymore and she didn't want Lauren getting caught up in it. As soon as Lauren was upstairs Chris let go of Nat's wrist and went over and locked the door before Nat had a chance to leave. Nat saw him lock the door but she knew she couldn't leave without Lauren so it was unnecessary.

" What do you want Chris?" Natalie asked as she backed up against a wall as he walked forward to be near her.

" This " Chris said and he forced a kiss on her. Natalie took her hand and went to slap him but he caught her hand in mid air. He stared her straight in the eyes and then saw something on her finger.

" What the hell is this!" Chris said getting angrier as he looked at the ring on her finger and then dropped her hand, Natalie quickly side stepped passed him trying to make her way over towards the swinging door that led to the kitchen when he grabbed her and pushed up against the counter next to the cash register.

John had arrived at the diner in record time and he saw there were no lights on but Nat's car was in the parking lot. He ran up to the front door and he could see them. That bastard had her up against the counter and she looked really scared. He checked the door quietly but it was locked and then he watched Chris take a hold of her arms roughly and shake her. He needed to get in there and get in there now. John went quickly around the back to see if the back door was open and it was. John walked in thru the kitchen and made his way over by the swinging door that led to the eating part of the diner when he heard some of the disturbing things Chris was saying to Natalie and he lost it.

John charged in thru the door and Christian who was still with Natalie by the register turned and pushed Natalie slightly to the side. Chris reached into the register to where Carlotta had kept a gun since the last robbery and he grabbed it. John didn't know about the gun in the register, nor could he see Chris take it out and he continued to come towards Chris, when Nat saw that Chris had taken the gun from the register she quickly moved in front of Chris blocking his target of John and then Chris fired the gun shooting Natalie at close range in the stomach.


	15. Chapter 15

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**Chapter 15**

John was heading towards Chris when he saw Nat step in between the two and then John heard the shot just as he was upon her. She fell back into his arms instantly and he saw all the blood. John pushed back his anger and fear and grabbed a near by dishtowel and applied pressure to Nat's wound. John screamed for Chris who was still in shock to call 911 as John continued to apply pressure to Nat's stomach. Nat was still conscious but was very weak when she motioned for John to bring his ear closer to her mouth and he did.

"Lauren" she said barely able to get the words out.

"Take care of Lau-," she said as she lost consciousness

" It's alright Nat, you're going to be alright, you have to be" John told her when he saw her lose consciousness. He brought her body up towards his chest and he held her. John looked up when he heard Chris sobbing in the corner.

"Chris!" John screamed across the room

"Where's Lauren? Where is she Chris?" John asked as Carlotta came into the room. Carlotta heard the shot and was worried, so she came down stairs by herself to see a hurt Natalie being held by John and Chris standing in the corner crying.

"She's upstairs asleep" Carlotta answered John

" I didn't mean to do it, I.. I.. didn't mean for her to get hurt," Chris continued to say over and over again

"I think I killed her, Mami, I shot her" Chris continued to cry as they all heard the sirens of the ambulance getting closer.

The EMTs worked on Natalie for transport to the hospital as John got up from her side as Bo and a few officers arrived. Bo saw his niece on the gurney and he saw John full of blood, he also saw a pitiful excuse of a man crying into his mother's arms.

" John, what happened to my Niece?" Bo asked stern for he was unsure who and what had happened to his favorite niece. John looked towards Chris and Bo followed his eyes.

" He shot her," John said, as he looked Chris straight in the eye's telling this broken man that it wasn't over.

Bo went over to Carlotta and Chris; he started to handcuff Chris, tightly twisting the handcuffs as tight as they could go causing Chris' wrists to almost bleed. He read him his rights and handed him over to one of his officers.

The EMTs were ready to transport Natalie when John turned and didn't know what to do first. He needed to be with Natalie, but Lauren was upstairs and he couldn't leave her here.

" Bo, Lauren's upstairs can you stay with her? Call Rex and ask him to take care of her till I know what's going on with Nat" John said as he followed the EMTs out to the ambulance not waiting for an answer.

" Take care of my girl, John" Bo screamed to him as John jumped in the ambulance with the EMTs and Nat and they headed to the hospital.

John was in a haze of fear and guilt, fear that she might not make it and guilt that if he hadn't left she wouldn't have been put in a position for Chris to hurt her again. The whole way over to the hospital he just sat there a few feet away from the love of his life as the EMTs worked to keep her alive and stable till they reached the hospital and wondered about losing her. He couldn't lose her now that he felt like they found each other again. Lauren, he thought to himself, what about Lauren? How am I supposed to tell her Natalie's hurt? She's too young to really understand but she's gonna know something's off when Nat isn't around to take care of her ever again. No! I mean to take care of her for a little while, while she recovers cause she will recover, she just has to. John felt the ambulance stop and they rushed Natalie into the hospital thru the doors and into the ER where Michael met them.

Michael took one look at John behind the gurney before looking down at the person on it and knew, he knew, it had to be Natalie. Michael called a few nurses and told them to page Dr. Miller and they rushed Natalie into one of the emergency rooms.

John just stood outside the glass window to the room she was in watching, praying, hoping. A few minutes later Michael came out.

"Mikey" John said as a soft as a whisper

"She's lost a lot of blood, her pressures low and she needs surgery to try and remove the bullet." Michael told him as he walked John over to the seats in the lobby.

"We're hoping for the best here John, so don't give up hope. I thought you might want to hold this" Michael said all this as he made John take a seat, then he handed John their Grandmothers ring. Michael started to walk away.

"Where...? Was she...?" John spoke but it was useless he couldn't get the question out.

" It was on her finger " Michael answered and John realized the whole time he was holding her waiting for the ambulance he never thought to look, to look an see if she had decided to wear it. He had more important things to worry about right now so he didn't think anymore about it. Michael was walking away when he turned around and looked at John.

"Grandma's ring, huh?" Michael said and saw John's face get a little grimmer.

" I'll be in there with her John, in surgery, I'm not going to let anything happen to her like with dad. I promise you, Natalie will be out of surgery before you know it and raising hell about something. Trust me, alright? " Michael reassured John and then met the gurney as it was being pushed to the elevator to take Nat to surgery. John saw it come out of the room and ran over by it. He kissed her hand as it passed him and softly told her he loved her. The gurney got on the elevator and John returned to his seat and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

John was still sitting with his head in his hands when Nat's family arrived. They arrived all at once and made a huge commotion with their entrance. Asa was demanding to know what was going on and Kevin was fighting with a nurse about information, then John felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Bo there.

"How's Lauren? Is she with Rex? Did she ask for Natalie? I hope you didn't tell her anything?" John asked quickly and nervously. He had forgotten about Lauren for a little while there, what kind of father would do that, he thought. One that wasn't use to being one, but I better get use to it, if something happens to Nat, he shook his head clear of those thoughts when Bo answered some of his questions.

"She's fine, she didn't even wake up at the diner and Rex took her home to sleep in her own bed. She doesn't know anything." Bo told him

"How's my Nat?" Bo asked John as john stood and ran his hands thru his hair.

"I'm not exactly sure, she was taken into surgery a little while ago and Michael's in with her" John said as he walked over to the wall next to the room she was in earlier. Bo followed him knowing he needed a friend right now.

John looked down to the ring that he kept in his hand this whole time and pushed it around in his hand with his fingers as he leaned up against the wall.

" Is that a ring?" Bo asked as he watched John carefully

" Yeah, my grandmothers. She ... Natalie was wearing it when all this happened. It probably caused it to happen." John said feeling a little bit more guilty about the whole situation.

" John, don't go there. This isn't your fault, it's Chris', he's sick, there is something wrong with him that no one knew about." Bo said trying to reassure John that this wasn't his fault

" She knew about it, I knew about it and I still left, left her and Lauren here with the knowledge of what he had done to her before, what he could do to her again. I should have been here," John said as Bo got a confused look on his face.

"John, had Chris done something to Natalie before this? Something physical that my niece never told me, or told any of us?" Bo asked getting angry at the thought that maybe Chris had previously laid a hand on Natalie and that he hadn't seen the signs himself.

John was about to answer him and tell him the truth, tell them all the truth, although he knew she wouldn't want them to know, he wanted them all to know, know what kind of a person Christian Vega had become but before he could tell him Michael walked over to them and Natalie's whole family gathered round to hear if she was alright.


	16. Chapter 16

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**Chapter 16**

" Michael" John said softly as the Buchanan's gathered around him. Asa started to open up his mouth and Clint gave him a look telling him to not to.

" She's out of surgery, we successfully removed the bullet and there wasn't any complications. She's in the recovery room but she hasn't woken up yet. She'll probably be out of it for a few more hours." Michael said as everyone let out a sigh of relief. Michael saw the relief on John's face and walked over to him.

"I told you to trust me," Michael told him as he gave John his goofy smile

"Yeah, Mikey, you did." John said as he gave Michael a smirk back and he reached up and gave him a man hug.

"Can I see her, I know she's still asleep but can I sit with her? Please?" John asked Michael.

" Yeah, I think that would be alright, give me a minute and I'll take you to her" Michael said as he walked away for a few minutes. John picked up his cell phone to call Rex. John knew as soon as Natalie woke she would be asking about Lauren so he needed to make sure she was alright. John called Rex and told him about Natalie and asked about Lauren. Rex told John Lauren had, had a nightmare but he handled it and was able to get her back to sleep. John ended the call with Rex as he saw Michael come walking over towards him. Michael and John walked thru the halls till they got to Nat's room.

"Remember she probably won't be waking for a few hours and when she does it's normal for her to be out of it." Michael told John and then Michael excused himself.

John moved a chair over by the bed and sat in it holding her hand. Her hand had a slight chill to it and he rubbed it a few times to try and warm it up. He continued to rub her hand as he stared at her and then he started talking to her while she was still asleep.

" Michael says you're going to be alright, Nat. he says there was no complication and you'll have a full recovery. Doesn't that sound great?" John was getting emotional, very emotional to the point where he let those emotions talk.

"I know you were wearing the ring, Michael gave it to me when they brought you in. OMG Natalie, I can't believe I almost lost you; Lauren and I almost lost you. I can't believe you moved in front of a bullet meant for me. Don't ever do it again! I mean it Nat don't ever put yourself in a spot where you can get hurt, very badly hurt to try and save me, what if something was to happen to you, what about Lauren, what about me." John stopped his lecture to regain himself, she was going to be alright and he had to let it go, let it all go, the fear of losing her, the fear of what Chris could've done to her if he hadn't gotten there in time. Chris he thought, anger rose from his soul just thinking his name. 'That Son of a Bitch will get his, he'll be spending plenty more time in Statesville, I'll make sure of that' he thought

It had been three hours and John's mind was racing back and forth so fast he couldn't keep up with any of his thoughts, all he knew was that she should have woken up by now and she hadn't. He had one of the nurses page Michael for him and he waited. Michael walked into the room to see John pacing the floor. When John saw him walk in he turned to face him with tears in his eyes.

" She hasn't woken yet, Mikey. It's been three hours and she's still not awake" John said as he ran a hand thru his hair.

"Calm down John, It's alright. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong, when people have been put thru trauma's such as Nat has sometimes it takes them a little longer to wake up. It's as if their body needs time to recoup it's self. Trust me, Nat knows how good she has it, she won't be leaving you anytime soon." Michael said trying to reassure John that everything was going to be fine but he wasn't sure if John believed him.

"I can't calm down Mikey, it's almost morning and she... she isn't awake yet, Lauren will be waking up soon and what is Rex suppose to tell her? Tell her that the selfish asshole that she thinks is her dad shot and almost killed her mom. Huh? How do you think that's gonna go? Or he can tell her that her mom had surgery and hasn't woken yet, or maybe that the man that she doesn't like very much is her real dad and he has no idea what he'll do if her mom doesn't wake up!" John said going on and on and on in a rant. John was definitely losing it. He was pacing back and forth the whole while in his rant when he and Michael both heard a faint word or two. They both looked and she was waking up.

"Will you smack him already to get him to shut up" Nat said as Michael realized she was talking to him telling him to hit John to stop him from ranting. Michael smiled and John became frozen in his pacing, John stood there not moving as if he was afraid it was wishful thinking. He had to blink a few times to make sure she was really waking up. John realized it was real and was speechless as Michael walked over by Nat to examine her.

"You know Nat, you're the only one who has this affect on him, He hasn't said these many words to me our whole lives, I think maybe you should be honored." Michael said as he smiled at her.

" Lucky, lucky me" Nat said and gave out a small smile. Michael finished checking her and he excused himself to give them sometime alone. He told them he would give them about twenty minutes before he told her family so they could have a little privacy. John was still standing over by where he was pacing when she woke again.

"Are you just gonna stand over there all day or do you think maybe you can come over here and hold my hand? " Natalie asked softly as she held out her hand for him to take. John still felt frozen, he didn't move.

"First the right, then the left" she said as he started walking towards her. He took her hand and he sat in the chair next to the bed and he tried to talk but he couldn't form any words. He reached into his pocket where he had safely put her ring a few hours ago and pulled it out. He looked at her and then he asked.

"Natalie, will you marry me?" John asked softly almost a whisper as he didn't wait for her answer and he pushed the ring on to her finger. John smiled with tears still in his eyes when he heard her joke some more.

"I think I'm suppose to answer you first before you put the ring on my finger." Natalie said with a smirk

"Nah, doesn't matter cause I know your answer" John said as they both continued to stare at each other.

"So you think you know me so well, huh? " Nat asked as his hand let go of hers and he placed it on her cheek. He moved slightly on the empty space on the bed next to her and brought his face within inches of hers.

" I know you very well," John said and he leaned in for a kiss when Nat brought her hand up in between their lips and briefly stopped him. She went to say something but before she got it out he beat her to it.

"Lauren's fine" He said and he saw her smile, then he tenderly kissed her. They continued to kiss till they heard someone clear their throat. They both looked up to see almost all the Buchanan's there, watching them. John and Nat looked at each other and gave a quick smile as John got himself off of Nat's upper body for which he was leaning on.


	17. Chapter 17

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* * *

**Chapter 17**

John and Natalie broke apart and was slightly embarrassed that almost her entire family caught them in a lip lock. John smiled at Natalie and told her he'd be back in a little while after her family had a chance to visit.

Natalie was finishing up her visit with her family when everyone was leaving and Kevin stayed behind.

"I'm glad you made it thru alright, do you need anything?" Kevin asked Nat, as he made sure the door to her room was closed.

" Thanks, Kevin, No I don't need anything right now." Nat replied but could see there was something on Kevin's mind.

"What is it Kev? " Nat asked

"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I helped with all the Legal stuff with getting your divorce and with the custody agreement and you didn't say a word, didn't say a word about how ..what.. Chris became." Kevin asked his sister softly not wanting to upset her.

"Who told you? " Nat asked

"Bo said something that made me think, think about how desperate you were for my help with the divorce... with the custody agreement. I should have figured it out sooner, back then. I can't believe I didn't realize it, you've never asked for my help before that time. I'm sorry." Kevin said standing by Nat's bed looking at her.

"You have nothing to feel sorry about. Maybe If I would have told someone.. things.. things.. No, I don't wanna go down that road again. No regrets, no what if's, no if I did things different. I was almost killed last night and I'm thankful to be alive, I'm thankful for Lauren, and for John. I just don't want to talk about the past anymore, I just want to move on with my Life." Natalie said and she smiled at him.

" I.. I.. just feel bad th--" Kevin started to say when Nat knew what he was getting at.

" Kevin, You and I haven't always been the closest but when I asked for your help you didn't hesitate. I don't want you to beat yourself up about anything, alright?" Natalie said as she took his hand for a moment and gave him another smile. Kevin just smiled back and shook his head.

"Alright. I've got some paperwork that was sent to your office at BE. I think it's from your attorney. Would it be to much for me to ask what it's about and if you need any help with anything?" Kevin asked lightly knowing that Natalie might take offense to him wanting to know.

"I'm only asking because You know I'm trying to do this big brother thing with you and maybe this time I'll be able to get it right" Kevin said reassuring Nat that he wants the position of her big brother, he wants them to have that kind of relationship, that closeness.

" I'd really like to tell you Kevin but I'm not sure how John wants to handle this. I hope you understand but, there are a few more things that need to be worked out before we let everyone know the truth and well all I can say is the papers from the attorney are going to help. Soon, I'll be able to tell you soon, I promise." Nat said feeling bad that she couldn't tell him about John being Lauren's real dad.

"Alright Nat, however you need to play this, what ever it is" Kevin said sounding disappointed for which Nat picked up on.

'"Well, I may not be able to tell you about that but, I have something I can tell you and I really can't believe the family didn't pick up on it while we were visiting." Nat said as a slow smile ran across her face and she picked up her hand and showed him the ring on her finger.

"A huh? Now I know why Mcbain was on top of you when we walked in earlier. Do you think I have to give him a warning about hurting my little sister?" Kevin asked with a grin as he saw her ring and then looked at her.

"Funny, Kevin, real funny" Natalie said looking back at her brother feeling probably for the first time that he genuinely cared for hurt.

" All kidding aside Nat, If your happy, I'm happy and although Mcbain and I are different type people I don't think he'll ever hurt you" Kevin said as he and Nat heard her door open and they saw John peak his head in.

" I'm sorry, I thought everyone was gone and I have a surprise for you, not really sure it can wait because I don't want to get yelled at from Michael" John said still standing with only his head peaking in thru the door when they all heard it, Lauren's voice from the hall behind John.

"Dr. Mikey me here see mommy" Lauren said to Michael in the hall

"Crap! I'm busted " John said as he turned from the door and saw Michael's smiling face. John watched his stickler brother for a moment and realized he wasn't mad so John took Lauren by the hand and led her in to Nat's room. John leaned down to Lauren's ear and reminded her of what he told her in the car. That Nat was fine but sick and might not be able to hold her, and for her not to be scared of the machines in the room or for how Natalie looked. Then John walked passed Kevin who was moving away from Nat in the bed and John gently picked Lauren up and placed her on the empty space on the bed next to Natalie.

Natalie's eyes were tearing up. Her baby was here, her Lauren, John had known she needed to see her for herself to make sure she was really alright. Kevin saw the emotions on Nat's face with Lauren next to her and he excused himself and left. Michael was still in the hall amused by John trying to sneak Lauren into the Hospital. While Nat, John and Lauren stayed in Nat's room and visited for a few minutes.

After about a half hour rex showed up to take Lauren back home.

"I'll be home soon baby, alright? You be good for uncle Rex" Natalie told her as she kissed her forehead and Rex came over to the bed and picked Lauren up to take her home.

"Luv you, mommy" Lauren said as Rex carrier her out as Lauren looked back at Nat

" Mommy loves you too Lauren" Natalie said as she couldn't hold the tears in any more. All the tears that were building up inside her eye's, inside her body, they came rushing out. John saw them starting and he knew, knew how important it was for her to shed them, all of them. He moved closer to her and sat on the bed where their daughter had sat a few minutes ago and held her to the best of his ability till the tears stopped. Once he heard no more sobbing, felt no more wetness on his chest he pulled back for a minute to look at her. He tucked a piece of her hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear and caressed her face.

" Thank You" was all Natalie said as she leaned into him so he could continue to hold her some more.


	18. Chapter 18

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**Chapter 18**

John held Nat for a few more minutes when a nurse that needed to check Nat's blood pressure interrupted them. After a few minutes she was gone when Nat turned to John and smiled.

" Here " She said as she took the envelope that Kevin brought her from her attorney and handed it to John.

"What is it? " John asked as he started opening it

"It's your Valentine's present or I should say your belated Valentine's present," she said as she watched him start to read the papers.

"I.. I can't believe you did this, I mean I know we talked about it but why.. I mean how did you do this so fast? John asked shocked and Happy at the same time.

" I wanted to surprise you with them when you got back. I know how Important it is for Lauren to be yours legally so I pulled a few strings and got her birth certificate changed and then I had my attorney have her name legally changed." Natalie said with a smile matching John's.

She had his name now he thought, she was legally his daughter now, Chris had no ties to her, no more ties to his child and to his wife. Wife, he thought that must be my heart talking again cause my brain knows it isn't true yet but soon. He heard Nat clear her throat and he came out of his thoughts.

" I'm still not sure as to when we should tell her, I'm not sure when the best time will be" Natalie said as John took a seat next to her bed

"We can just play it by ear, it's enough for now to know Chris has no legal rights to her." John answered

Chris, Natalie thought, how did she feel towards him now. He had done some terrible things to her over the last few years but the worst was shooting her and almost taking her away from Lauren and John. She still felt like there were unsettled things between Chris and herself.

"I wanna see him," Natalie told John who had a confused look on his face

" What? See who? You don't mean Chris?" John said

" Yes, you know I mean Chris, It's important John, when I get out of here in a few days I need to see him."

"No! You're not going anywhere near him ever again." John said firmly

"Excuse Me! I'm sorry since when do you tell me what I can and can not do!" Natalie said getting irritated with John's attitude

" I don't want you anywhere near him Natalie, Not now, not ever! " John said and then he saw her face, she was getting really mad at him. He was about to say something else and he stopped himself before he made things worse. He thought about things.

Is she crazy, the man just shot her, he's been abusive in the past, he's lied to us about Lauren and she wants to just go see him, she wants me to allow it? John thought some more and realized he was being a jerk, he was trying to control things all because he was worried about her, worried about what she could feel when she saw him. He was brought out of his thoughts when Natalie waved her hand in front of his face.

" John, You know I make my ow---" Natalie tried to finish her sentence but John brought his lips to hers and kissed her.

" I'm sorry, I know I was being a Jerk, you should see him if you feel you need to, but you're not... I mean I would prefer it if you'd let me go with you." John said after he kissed her, he started to again tell her what to do and he stopped himself, he knew just because she agreed to marry him he wasn't her boss. They needed to be equals in their relationship, it was important to her, to him, to their future. It was time for a change for John Mcbain, or at least a change when it came to Natalie.

The next few days went by and john made arrangements with Bo so Nat would be able to talk to Chris. Chris was still being held at the station waiting for his trial to start.

" Hey Honey, how are you feeling? I can't believe they let you out of that hospital so soon? " Bo asked Nat as she and John walked into the station.

" I'm fine, just a little sore but I'm fine and I couldn't wait to get out of that place." Nat said as she went over to Bo and hugged him. She moved a little to fast to hug him and she let out a small gulp of pain.

" See, I knew this would be too much for you today, let's go home and see Lauren you can come back in a few days" John said as he heard her in pain and then he guided her to a chair to sit down.

"Honey, John's right, it can wait " Bo said watching Natalie closely

" Will the both of you just quit it already, I'm okay, I want to get this over with so I can finally move on with my life. " Nat said to the both of them and then she looked at John.

" With our lives, I need to do this" Nat said as John nodded his head and helped her up from her seat and guided her to Chris' cell. When they got to the cell Natalie stopped before going in.

"I want you to wait here for me, I need to do this alone, please understand" Nat asked John

" But Nat--"

" He can't hurt me, us, not ever again," Nat said interrupting John's objection and then John nodded and let her pass by him to the cells. Before she completely walked passed him he grabbed her wrist gently, Natalie turned and looked at him.

" I'll be right here if you need me, I Love you" John said and he gave her a quick kiss on the lips


	19. Chapter 19

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**Chapter 19**

Natalie walked over by his cell and she could feel her hands starting to tremble, tremble from being so close to him, the man who she use to love so much, the man who taught her how to love, the man who took all those things and threw them away, a man who couldn't get over the fact that she didn't love him anymore, not when he came back and no now, a man who.. Natalie heard his voice and she ended her thoughts.

" Natalie" Chris said softly looking down as he approached the bars by where she was.

"What are you doing here? I didn't think I would ever see you again after what I did this time, I'm so sorry, I---" Chris said not being able to meet her eye's. Natalie cut off his last words, she was determined to get answers and get out of there.

" I'm not here for apologies, I'm here to say goodbye to you for the last time and to ask you why? Why or I should say how? How could you the kind Christian Vega that I once loved do all these things, all these mean horrible things to me, to Lauren and to John." Natalie said staring him straight in the eyes. Chris didn't know what to say, he had no excuses other than the truth, so he looked down to the ground briefly as if getting up the courage or the nerve and he told her.

"I don't know, I just don't know, I guess ...I just loved you so intensely for so long that I couldn't face the fact that you were meant for someone else. I kinda get it now, I get that you and I never had a shot in hell of ever living happily ever after, I mean.. I knew you were connected to him. I knew even before we got married that you and John had a spark between you. But, I knew you loved me and that as the years went by you would just forget all about him. That's how I justified it, but then I was taken from you, you thought I was dead and all I could think about was getting back to you, I had nothing else. As more time went by, it was still all about you. All the rest of the mess happened and when I finally got out of Statesville, I wanted things the same with us, I needed things the same with us but... you and John got together, something I had feared before we got married and I guess. I guess.. I just became obsessive. I had you first! You were mine!" Chris said getting loud and then he moved a little fast by the bars and Natalie's only reflex was to quickly back up.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scary you" Chris said and Natalie regained herself and walked back over by the bars, she nodded her head for him to continue and he did.

"When John left town, it was the best thing for us or at least I thought it was, with him not around you could love me like you use to, we could finally have the life we dreamed of every night before going to bed together, no John Mcbain to screw things up for us anymore. But, I was wrong. As the years went by you didn't forget him, you just seemed to long for him more." Chris paused and turned away from her for a minute.

"And when you found out I was pregnant? " Natalie asked determined to know everything, every detail to why Chris was the way he was now.

" When I found out you were pregnant it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. No matter how much you loved John, a baby, our baby was going to join us together, together forever, there was nothing John could have ever done or said to get you to leave me and our child, I knew you would stay with me forever so a child of yours didn't grow up without it's father." Chris said as Natalie asked a question

"And when you found out Lauren was John's child?"

" I lost it, I lost the one thing I thought would keep you with me forever, it was his, my worse nightmare had come true, you would be sharing a child with a man you loved instead of loving me and sharing that child with me. I was desperate so I made a deal with your doctor and we lied about things. Things... things were going good for awhile but then I found a picture of John you had shoved in the draw of your nightstand, you still weren't over him, you hadn't seen him in years and you still loved him. I guess that was when I completely became a different person, I would dream of you with him, you and Lauren with him and it made me ill. Ill to the point that I couldn't breathe, I started worrying about him coming and taking the two of you away from me. It was all I ever thought about. That was when I remember saying all those nasty things to you and then I hit you. It hurt me as much as it hurt you." Chris said as he saw Natalie get a stone cold face on, up to this point Nat was a little sympathetic but not now, she remembered all the pain his words caused her, she remembered the first time he hit her.

"You've got to be kidding me! It hurt you as much as it hurt me! I'm sure every husband who ever abused their wife used that same line on them at some point. I had the emotional baggage thinking I was doing something wrong, I was the one who had to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide the marks of how much you loved me, and Luckily for me I've been down that road before and I got out before it got out of hand or maybe I would've ended up dead like a lot of woman whose husbands loved them so much. I can't understand how someone can say they love you so much one-minute and then raise a hand to hit you the next. " Natalie said getting unraveled

"It's because they need help," John said as he walked into the area by Chris' cell. Natalie and Chris both heard him and they turned to face him. John walked over to Nat and stared into her misty eyes.

" I'm sorry but, you were taking so long I was getting a little worried. Are you almost done? Do you want me to go back outside in the hall and wait?" John asked Nat as he reached up with his hand to wipe a tear that had escaped her eye.

" No, it's okay if you stay, I..I got what I needed, I was just finishing up." Nat said to John and then John walked passed Nat and went over behind her so she could finish up her talk with Chris.

" You've told me enough, I don't need to know anymore. It's my turn to tell you a few things. I'm sorry, I'm sorry cause I think maybe If I hadn't married you all those years ago before Vegas maybe your life would be different. I was attracted to John when he first came to town, we were some how connected and I knew it. I never should have married you. but I can't change the past and you've done things that out weigh anything I could have done to be sorry about. You made you own choices and you acted on them, and unfortunately you are going to have a long time to think about them." Natalie said walking over by john and then she turned back and looked at Chris.

"I made sure you have no legal claim to Lauren and I've had her last name changed to her fathers. Goodbye, Chris and I hope you get the help you need." Natalie said as she took John's hand and they walked silently out of the cell area.

As they walked out of the area they could hear Chris trashing his cell and screaming Natalie's name, then they heard him scream something about getting John.

" Just ignore it, I need you" Natalie said to John who had turned to walk back to the cell when he heard Chris' words. They walked out of the police station and got into the privacy of John's car when Natalie's tears started. John reached over, held her and let them flow, her tears, they flowed for a few minutes until Natalie was able to talk.

" Lets go home and tell Lauren today"


	20. Chapter 20

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**Chapter 20**

" Today? You wanna tell her today? I think we should wait...wait for a better time you'll just be getting home and you really can't be picking her up and holding her and.. and.." John started to get nervous, telling Lauren today might be a mistake, she hadn't had enough time to get to know him, she barely tolerates him, yeah they spent some time alone getting to know each other better the other day when he took her to see Nat in the hospital but to tell her he was her dad. To tell her Chris wasn't her dad. That might be too much for a three year old to handle. John's mind was moving so fast that he didn't even hear Natalie talking.

" John, John.. earth to John,... great now that I've gotten your attention, don't worry. She'll be fine with it, she'll love you, I do and she's her mothers daughter so there's no doubt in my mind she'll love you, maybe not at first but she will" Natalie said and she didn't seem to be helping matters

"What if she doesn't, love me that is, what if she doesn't except me as her dad and all she wants is Chris" John said starting to drive home from the hospital.

" John, it won't be easy and if it doesn't go well at first it's just something that will happen as she sees she can depend on you, after she sees that you're going to be here to stay that " Natalie said that last part but never finished her sentence, she got caught up in thoughts of questions she never asked John.

" John, what are you plans? I mean now that you no longer work for the FBI? I mean you did quit didn't you?" Natalie asked getting nervous that they never discussed these questions before.

" Other than Marrying you and raising our daughter together I have none, I know ...I can be a stay at home dad and take care of Lauren while you work" John said in a upbeat playful tone Natalie reached over slowly and softly slapped his shoulder while he continued to drive.

" Stop fooling around would ya?" Natalie said and gave him her serious look

" Don't worry Bo offered me my old job back, it's been awhile but apparently the last guy who had the job had too many issues and refused to go to therapy, so lucky for us I got the job, could you imagine someone having more issues than me?" John said still being playful as he saw Nat's face light up in a smile.

John and Nat arrived at the cottage a few minutes later and Natalie started to get out of the car when she saw John motionless in his seat.

" John, you need to get out of the car now, don't worry even if her reaction is bad at first she'll come around, she's a great kid, takes after me " Natalie said with a smile at the last part.

John and Nat walked into the house to see a mess of dolls and toys scattered thru out the living room, they saw Rex on the couch watching television but didn't see Lauren.

" Hey, your home, didn't expect you till later" Rex said as he went over to Nat and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Apparently you didn't " Natalie said again looking around the messy room and slightly chuckling. Rex, she thought he was a great brother, decent babysitter but housekeeper, the worst.

"Where's Lauren?" Natalie asked

" Oh, she's in the kitchen cooking me something to eat"

"What!" Nat and john said at the same time and they heard Rex laugh

" In her play kitchen, you two need to relax a little, did you think I would let a three year old cook in the kitchen" rex said still laughing and shaking his head as Lauren walked into the living room from the kitchen. She looked so cute; she had on her little kid-sized apron and was holding a plate with a play hamburger on it and fries. Lauren looked passed her uncle and saw Natalie and ran to her.

"Mommy! You home" Lauren said as she stopped right in front of Natalie.

"Yeah I'm home, were you good for Uncle Rex? " Natalie asked Lauren as she touched Lauren's cheek with her hand and Lauren smiled up looking at her.

"Real good" Lauren said as she grabbed Nat's hand to pull her over by her toys

"Wanna play dolls? " Lauren asked when they approached her dolls

"It's a little hard for me to sit and play on the floor maybe John wants to play with you?" Natalie said as she turned to look at John who was holding his breath till Lauren answered.

"You want play? " Lauren turned after she saw her mom turn to look at John. John thought he was going to melt right there on the spot, the way this adorable little girl bated her eyelashes and asked him to play dolls. She was under his skin the same way her mother was, more than under his skin, she was in his heart, part of his heart, another part that he didn't know was missing, another piece that fit his heart just like her mothers, maybe once a missing piece but not any longer, not ever again.

John and Lauren sat on the floor and started playing dolls, unfortunately for John he got the talking Tina doll and it just wouldn't shut up. He could handle a gun no problem but a talking doll he just couldn't figure out how to shut it up. He searched for a on/off switch but just couldn't find one, how this doll reminded him of Natty never taking a break from talking to catch a breath, he laughed thinking about how he usually would have to plant a kiss on Natalie to get her to stop talking so much, he laughed some more thinking that would definitely not work with the doll. He continued to try and get it to shut up when Lauren saw him having difficulty with it and she took it from him.

"See, John" Lauren said, as she showed him how to turn the doll off. John laughed a little more and said thank You.

Meanwhile Natalie had said goodbye to Rex and had ordered Pizza. Natalie attempted to start picking up the toys thrown all around when John reprimanded her.

"Natalie, leave them I'll do it later, remember what the Dr said, take it easy and we are gonna have to figure out where you're going to sleep, remember no stairs." John told Natalie as he got up off the floor and took the toys she had already picked up out of her hands.

"By Dr you mean your over protective brother right? I bet you put him up to saying those things." Natalie said as she looked at him and gave him a small smirk as they both heard the pizza guy at the door. They got their pizza and took it into the kitchen to eat. Natalie attempted to get them drinks when John stopped her and made her sit. When they were all at the table Natalie decided it would be a good time to tell Lauren and as soon as she started to open up her mouth, john got that nervous look on his face again, Nat placed her hand softly on his knee and reassured him things would be alright.

" Lauren honey, John and I have something we want to tell you" Natalie said looking at Lauren who was drinking her drink with a straw. Lauren met her mom's eyes and then after a few seconds looked at John.

" I know, unc Rex told me, you're gonna get to wear a white dress in church again" Lauren said acting like it wasn't a big deal.

" Uncle Rex told you that Huh? What else did uncle Rex tell you?" Natalie said not remembering telling Rex, but telling Kevin and she knew Kevin wouldn't spill the beans before Natalie had a chance to tell everyone.

" He say I was lucky that we be a family again. Told me to be appy that Jon was gonna be my dad cause my old dad was bad." Lauren said

Natalie and John looked at each other and didn't know what to say, John moved his chair a little closer to Lauren's and stared into her blue eyes.

"Is that alright with you? I mean is it okay Lauren, Okay that I'm your dad and that me and your mom get married? Do you think you might like to be my daughter?" John asked Lauren cautiously not realizing she was to young to probably grasp what he was asking but he held his breath and waited for an answer. Natalie was about to tell John that maybe his questions were to mature for her when Lauren opened her mouth and spoke.

"Can you take me to the circus? Dad's take kids to circus and stuff, saw it on a show" Lauren said and Natalie let out a laugh, Natalie saw John's face, he wasn't sure where Lauren was going with the circus stuff at first and then he caught on, he smiled realizing he was probably nervous this whole time for nothing.

"I'd love to take you to the circus, I'd love to take both my girls to the circus. Have you ever been to the circus before?" John leaned down to her while he was still in the chair next to her. Lauren shook her head no and then John leaned into her ear and whispered in it.

"I don't think your mom has ever been either" John said into her ear as he looked across the table into Nat's sparkling eyes.

"It's settled then as soon as the circus is in town we'll all go as a family," John said as Nat realized how late it was and how tired Lauren looked. Natalie told Lauren it was bedtime and John approached Lauren to take her up to bed.

"nite mommy" Lauren said as John picked Lauren up so Nat could kiss her goodnight and then he put her on his back to give her a piggyback ride up the stairs. Natalie laughed as she watched how much Lauren enjoyed her first Piggyback ride on John's back.

A few minutes later Natalie was sitting on the couch when she heard a loud thump come from the stairs and then she saw her bed mattress sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She saw John carrying Lauren back down the stairs on his back and Nat got a confused look on her face.

"What's going on?" Natalie said as John placed Lauren on the couch and went over to push the mattress over to a clear spot in the middle of the room.

" Well, I was putting Lauren to bed and she had a great idea, since you can't come up stairs for bed and she doesn't want to sleep upstairs without you, we decided to bring this big bed of yours down here so she can sleep with you." John said as he gathered the blankets, the pillows and made the bed up for his girls.

"Now, I think you both could use some sleep" John said as he motioned for the both of them to get under the covers. Natalie and Lauren both did what he said and they got in the bed. John took a blanket and went over to the couch to lie down.

"No, sleep here, like a family" Lauren said as she motioned for John to come and sleep with them on Nat's bed on the floor.

John heard her and saw that she wanted him to sleep next to her and it completely melted, his heart, it would no longer ever be cold or ice again, it was warm, warm with love. John moved over into the bed and looked at Natalie who had tears in her eyes and he said Goodnight. Sometime in the middle of the night John woke to find a sleeping Lauren snuggling on his chest and all that melted from his heart came out of his eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

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**Chapter 21**

The next morning seemed to come on Natalie fast when she woke to find that she had slept longer than she expected. She rose and noticed it was ten am and shook her head thinking it must be the medication she was still on that made her sleep so late. She got up slowly and looked around the house for them, Lauren and John, but they were nowhere to be found. Natalie continued to wonder the house for a few minutes when she found a note from John taped to the refrigerator.

Nat,

Took Lauren and we went to get breakfast, didn't want to wake you, you need the sleep. Be back soon and we'll bring you something.

John

Natalie smiled while reading his note and then thought about what happened last night. They told Lauren, sort of, well she understands that John's going to be her dad now and that they are getting Married but, but... Nat's thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. Someone impatiently was ringing it and Natalie knew exactly who it was.

She answered the door and motioned for Rex to come in.

"Ugh.. Did you even take a shower? " Rex said seeing Natty in the same sweats she was wearing yesterday..

"Rex, just the person I wanted to see" Natalie said ignoring the showering comment. Natalie gave Rex an accusatory look and rex folded, he knew what it was she wanted to talk to him about. So before any questions he started to speak.

"Alright, I know I shouldn't have told the munchkin about you and John but, but, I couldn't help it. She was sad with you in the hospital and she was just missing you so much." Natalie continued to be silent and gave him another look to make him talk more.

"geez.. Nat.. Maybe you should be the one to be a detective not me cause you've got this interrogation stare that would make any criminal talk... okay, I just thought maybe it would help if I talked to her first, you know maybe break the ice a little for John,"

"But, you don't even like John"

"No, that's not true... okay he's not my most favorite of people but he apparently Loves you so that's what's important, Right?"

"Right" Natalie said softening with a grin

" Yeah, and when I found out about Chris being such an asshole towards you it's better that he isn't Lauren's real dad, Jo--" Rex said as Natty cut his words off

"You know about that too! How?" Nat said almost yelling

"I'm damn good at what I do Nat. and... and you left some evidence to that upstairs in your room" Rex said

"You were in my room!" Natty said as they both heard the front door open and they saw John and Lauren walk in.

"We'll finish this another time. Oh and by the way, it's a good thing you are so fond of John all of a sudden since he's your new boss." Natalie said as she started to push him towards the front door.

"Hi, Rex. Wanna stay for breakfast I got extra," John said as he started to help Lauren off with her boots

"Rex was just going. Say goodbye Rex" Natalie said as rex tried to explain why he was really there and Natalie just opened the door and thru him out of the house. Natalie turned her attention back to John and Lauren and smiled looking at the bag of breakfast in John's hand trying to figure out what they brought her.

"Whatcha get me? " Natalie asked trying to get the bag from John who looked at Lauren and smiled.

"Donuts" John said with a serious face and then he looked at Lauren and she giggled

"Donuts, you know I hate donuts for breakfast" Natalie said seeing there was a joke going on between John and Lauren.

" Ok, mommy not donuts, bagels" Lauren said and Natalie and John both laughed

"Bagels Huh? The ones with holes in them like donuts?" Natalie asked and she laughed a little more.

"Great cause I'm hungry" Natalie said and then she saw Lauren run into the living room and put on the TV. So she could watch it. John leaned into Natalie's cheek while she was standing next to him and he gave her a quick peck on it.

They stood for a few minutes in the foyer and discussed how Natalie was feeling and then made there way into the kitchen to have their bagels and coffee. Natalie was buttering her bagel when she decided to discuss last night with John. Discuss the fact that Lauren still really didn't know that John was her biological dad and that it was probably best for now, not to confuse the kid with it. As long as she grew up to think of John as her dad as the years go by she won't even remember Chris and then one day when she's much older they can tell her the whole truth.

Natalie got that serious look on her face and John knew what she was thinking about.

"It's alright with me Nat, if she really doesn't get it, get that she has my genes, her not knowing now won't effect anything in the long run" John said as he stood next to Natty who was still buttering her bagel.

" How do you answer questions I haven't even asked, how do you know me so well to know what I'm thinking?" Nat asked with a smile on her face

"I just do, smart I guess, or maybe just connected, connected at the heart, and that is where most of your questions come from," John said and he leaned in and gave her a soft lingering kiss. Natalie pulled away from the kiss for a minute and smiled within inches from his face.

"Tell me what I'm thinking now, feeling with my heart now?" Natalie asked as John's arms went around her waist and he pulled her body even closer to his.

"That you wish it was a week later so your recovery was over, over so I could take you up to your bedroom and feel your..." John said with a smirk and then he got to the last part and saw Lauren run into the kitchen.

"Heart" John said as he gave Nat a quick kiss and then they heard Lauren make a kissy-face noise and they laughed.

About a week later it was in the middle of the day and Natalie was just getting back from her follow up doctors visit when she noticed John's car was in the driveway. That's odd she thought, today was his first day at the station, why would he be home so early. She went inside to see John standing at the fireplace looking at the pictures on the mantle. Pictures of Natalie, Lauren, even a few on him that Natalie printed up on her printer. John heard her walk in but didn't turn to meet her eyes yet. He had something awful to tell her, something he knew would be painful to her, he wasn't really sure how she was going to take it. He pulled himself out of his thoughts when he heard her ask him if everything was alright. John slowly turned to her and spoke.

" Natalie, I need to tell you something. Is Lauren still at your mom's?

Natalie nodded yes to the question about Lauren and then John guided over to the couch to sit down.

"You're really scaring me John, just say it" Natalie said trying really hard to figure out what could be wrong.

"OMG! It's not Rex is it?" Natalie asked quickly before letting words come from john's mouth.


	22. Chapter 22

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**Chapter 22**

" No Natalie it's not Rex." John said as he sat next to Natalie on the couch.

"It's..it's..Chris, he killed himself in his cell last night" John said as he looked at Natalie's face when he said it. She went blank; her face gave nothing away to which way she was going to take the news.

"Is that it? Then Rex is alright?" Natalie asked and she got up to straighten up the house. Moving quickly around the house she picked things up to put them away. John followed behind her as she moved.

"Natalie, did you hear what I said, Chris is dead"

"I heard you the first time John" Natalie said as she stopped briefly to look at him when they spoke and then she continued moving around the room, picking things up.

"Stop it Natalie" John said as he took her arm gently and pulled her so she was facing him.

"You need to sit and we need to talk about this" John told her staring into her now glassy blue eye's

"No, we don't" Natalie told John in a controlled voice.

"Yes, we do!" John told her in a demanding voice

"Here you go again telling me what to do. I don't need to talk about it. " Natalie said pulling away from John's hand and moving towards the fireplace. Natalie looked at the pictures of Lauren on the mantle. Tears started to run slowly down her cheeks. John watched her from a few feet away, he knew she needed space. After a few minutes Natalie spoke.

"I did this, I killed him, I killed a one time innocent person because I was connected to you" Natalie said not being able to look at John when she spoke. John came up behind her and he wanted so much to put his arms around her but he knew he couldn't, now wasn't the time, it would probably just make things worse.

"You didn't kill him, I didn't kill him, our connection didn't kill him; he was sick Natalie, just sick." John said trying to make her see this wasn't her fault

"He was sick because of me, because I didn't love him the way I should have" Nat said with tears still falling down her cheeks

" No, he was sick because of Hesser, Hesser made him sick with his brain washing" John said still standing behind Natalie watching her

"We were the reason Hesser got him, that damn pool tournament."

"Natalie, it wasn't anybodies fault Chris took his own life, not yours, not mine, not ours. " John said this time putting his hand on her shoulder as Nat stared into the space above the fireplace.

" I know John, I know but I can't help feeling this way, I know I shouldn't but I just do" Natalie said still looking by the fireplace.

"Natalie, it's not your fault" John continued to try and reassure her.

" I'm just not sure if this is a good thing, us I mean, look at all the bad things that have happened because of this connection, this love we have, nothing good has come from it" Natalie said pulling her engagement ring off her finger which John saw her do.

"You've got to be kidding me Natalie, you're going to let this dictate our future" John said as Natalie tried to hand him his ring while still not being able to face him.

" I've dealt with demons in therapy Natalie and I learned that you can't let feelings of guilt take over your life and jeopardize your future." John said trying to be patient with her.

"I just think maybe what we share isn't a good thing, it hurts people, I can't even think of one thing that our connection has brought us that was worth all the pain and hurt we caused along the way." Natalie said still holding the ring because John wouldn't take it from her hand.

"Well I can, she's right here" John said as he took one of Lauren's pictures off the mantle and then put it in front of Natalie's face for her to look at.

Natalie looked at the picture of Lauren and started to cry loudly. John took her in his arms and held her. After a few minutes he pushed her off his chest briefly and wiped away her tears that were still on her cheeks.

"You didn't do anything wrong Nat, there'd be no Lauren if there wasn't an us" John said looking into her eye's. Natalie nodded her head in agreement.

"Please put your ring back on " John said and Natalie pushed her ring back on her finger and John kissed her softly.

"Can we go upstairs? Maybe we can make another good thing from our connection" Natalie asked softly still a little teary eyed and they climbed the stairs slowly and went up to the bedroom.


	23. Chapter 23 Smut

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**Chapter 23**

John and Natalie slowly climbed the stairs hand in hand till they reached the landing of the second floor, they walked silently to Nat's room and John opened the door. Natalie was having second thoughts about making love with John now, of course she was eager to, they hadn't been intimate on that level since right before he left on the FBI assignment but now might not be the best time. She was still shaken up about finding out about Chris, learning about Chris taking his own life had made her feel guilty, guilt that Chris instilled in her when he started his abusive ways. John tried with his words to make her understand, understand that it wasn't her fault, the fault that she loved John but Natalie needed more, she needed to feel it wasn't her fault, she needed John to make her feel it., she needed John to help her erase the guilt and insecurities that she was feeling.

John opened the door for Nat and then closed it after himself, Natalie walked over to the window and stared out it while John came behind her and put his arms around her waist. He pulled her back close to his chest and he buried his face in her hair. John knew what he had to do. She still felt guilty about all that happened with Chris, the guilt that was typical of a woman to feel when coming from an abusive relationship, the guilt that he knew had haunted Natalie since the verbal abuse began, a guilt that he recognized to be common with domestic abuse victims, a guilt that he knew might take years to undo.

John started to gently kiss her neck as he moved her hair from his face and pushed all of it to the other side of her neck. She tensed at first when she felt his lips on her neck and he knew, knew he needed to show her, show her it wasn't her fault, wasn't because of what they felt for each other that caused Chris' death. He knew she needed him to take care of her today.

" Natalie, let me take care of you, let me make it right " John said as he turned her and stared into her baby blue eye's. They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity but was only a few minutes when John took the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up over her head, they continued to look into each others eye's searching, searching for renewal in faith, faith that they belonged together.

John brought his lips to Nat's and started to deeply kiss her as his hands softly grazed her body reaching behind her back to unhook her bra. He successfully undid her bra and helped guide it down her arms so it could meet her shirt on the floor. John was taking things slow and careful, he slowly lowered his mouth to her breast and took one into it, widely opening his mouth to take it in whole he showed her how much she meant to him, slowly his tongue decided to taste Natalie's breast and John used his tongue to excite her nipples by licking it to a hardened point, he continued this act of love on her other nipple and brought his hand to her pants, John unbuttoned and unzipped Nat's jeans and then pushed them and her panties down slightly so he could get his hand inside her panties, inside so he could feel her, feel her eagerness for him. While John's mouth continued it's action back and forth with his tongue on her nipple while his hand found a home in her core. He cupped her and extended two fingers out so they could move inside her as he rubbed her up and down, back and fourth till he felt Natalie's body start to back up towards the wall by the window to stable itself, in doing so Nat toed off her shoes and pushed her jeans and panties off of her. They became disconnected at this point and John took the opportunity to start unbuttoning his shirt.

Natalie was now completely Naked and she stood a few feet away from John watching him undo his shirt, she smiled as their eyes stared at each other's and she moved closer to feel his need, his need for her, his want for her, she undid she pants and moved them slightly off his hips so she could bring her hand in close, close to his penis, close so she could touch him, stroke him, she started to stroke him up and down spending special attention to the top sensitive part, she looked up and looked into his eye's, this time her eyes looked determined , determined to be free of guilt. Natalie noticed John struggling to undo his last few buttons of his shirt so she took her hand that wasn't stroking his penis and she helped to completely open up his shirt.

Natalie was so caught up in her actions and the feel of John's mouth now once again on her breasts that she let the thoughts of guilt go, all she felt was him, his love for her, their love for each other, she stopped touching him and pulled back a little, John noticed that Nat pulled back and doing so she pulled her breast out of his mouth. He straightened his body so he was standing tall and he again stared into her beautiful baby blues.

"I love you, John. I've always loved you " she said as she guided him to her bed. John took her words and used them to ignite even more passion inside her. As she laid herself on the bed he covered her with his body, shirt still on he leaned on her left side and started using his hands as instruments on her body, instruments of guidance as he slowly ran his hands down her stomach and traveled south towards her thighs and legs. He stopped briefly to look at her when his hands arrived on her inner thigh, he watched her face intently as his hands got closer and closer to her core, Natalie arched her back up slightly and parted her legs when she felt his hand skim her sensitive area, John brought two fingers again inside her to feel her, feel her warmth and wetness, while his mouth was again hungry for the taste of her breasts and it latched on to one. John drove his fingers into Natalie's core as his tongue played with her nipples, again hardening it to a point while Natalie pulled her upper body up giving his mouth easier access to her nipples and breasts.

As Nat pulled herself up she leaned her hand down in between his legs and touched his penis, she started stroking him faster and faster meeting John's speed as he drive his fingers in and out of her, in and out till he felt Natalie tense and he felt her walls starting to tighten intensely, he removed his fingers and pulled his whole body on top of her, he stared into her eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked wanting to make sure before he entered her

"I'm fine, make love to me" Natalie answered and he pushed his penis inside her slowly. Slowly john pushed himself into her and then brought himself back, as he brought himself back near her entrance he stopped briefly to feel her walls tightening and tensing even more, he continued to tease her walls with this back and forth action of almost coming out of her when finally he himself couldn't hold the urge to quickly plunge into her, John stopped the teasing and pushed his penis back deep inside her till he felt he couldn't be any closer to her.

Natalie felt his teasing and then he picked up the pace, driving into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and helped to pull him deeper inside her, over and over he drove as she brought her body up closer to his and she started to kiss him deeply, deeper and deeper he drove into her as she kissed him deeper and harder till she felt it, he felt it, they felt it, in one final push of his penis John sent him and Natalie to complete togetherness. This togetherness that would be hero to all their fears have the future and all their guilt and mistakes of the past.

John started trying to catch his breath as he continued to stay inside her, continued to feel her walls come down from their explosion. They stared at each other for a little while longer till finally John rolled off of Natalie and pulled her close to his chest.

" You don't have any doubts, not anymore right?" John asked her

" No, doubts that we're a good thing?" John asked clarifying his last question

" I know we're a good thing, thank you for letting me feel it" Natalie said and after a few more minutes she again spoke

"John, I have a question?"

"When can we get married?"

" I'm ready when you are" John answered with a smile that appeared when he heard her question. Natalie smiled when she heard his answer and then after a few minutes she again spoke.

"One more question and this is a real important one?"

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Natalie asked as she heard John say "shit " and jump up out of the bed to find his clothes. Natalie laughed as she snuggled with the covers, as he got dressed.

John was dressed and leaned down to a snuggling Natalie on the bed. He kissed her cheek and then whispered in her ear.

"Isn't Lauren coming home soon? " he whispered with a small smirk as he heard Natalie say, "shit" and jump out of the bed.


	24. Chapter 24

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**Chapter 24**

A few days had gone by since Natalie learned of Chris' death and she was starting to feel less and less guilt for his situation, with every time she and john made love she felt it, the reasons they were right for each other, the reasons they belonged together, the guilt was subsiding with every touch and every emotion John showed her. She had gone to Chris' funeral only to stand in the back, she thought it best not to be seen by Carlotta and Antonio since they, themselves laid a tremendous amount of guilt on Natalie for not sticking things out with Chris. She said goodbye to the man she once loved, the gentle kind Christian Vega not the man that he had become, not the man that refused help. She was cleaning up Lauren's room when she started to clean up her drawings off her desk.

Natalie smiled as she flipped thru the drawings, she came to a picture Lauren must have drawn at nursery school, it was a picture of the three of them, Natalie was in a white dress, at least Natalie thought it was a dress, John had on what she guessed to be jeans and a black shirt, and then Lauren was wearing a lilac colored dress, Natalie smiled as she read the wording that the teacher obviously spelled out for Lauren. It said my family, my mommy, my daddy and me. Natalie's smiled got bigger, Lauren hadn't said anything to John calling him dad and they weren't even sure she understood things yet but in the picture, Natalie got excited and wanted to make things final, she wanted to be married to John, she wanted them to all be a family. After they made love the other day, she asked him when, when he wanted to get married and he said he was ready, since that day they hadn't had much time to discuss it, he was working on a big case and Nat was really busy at BE. But tonight, tonight they would discuss it even if she had to hand cuff John to the bed to find some free time too, handcuff him to the bed, she thought and got a smutty look on her face, that "sounds like fun ", she said out loud as she heard him walk in the room with Lauren.

"What sounds like fun?" John asked as he put Lauren down off his back from giving her a piggyback ride up the stairs.

"Nothing" Natalie said with a smirk on her face

"You're home early," Natalie asked as she saw his face, he was trying to figure out what she was talking about even thou she said it was nothing.

"Yeah, finished up that big case all by myself, sometimes I just amaze myself" John said boosting about how great of a cop he was

"All By yourself Huh? Wasn't my kid brother helping with that one?" Natalie said giving him a hard time

"Yeah, so?" John said knowing she was joking and he moved closer to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips

"Nothing" Natalie said and she again smiled

"Uncle Ex is a great op, he's smarter than Daddy" Lauren said and John didn't know to be mad cause Rex obviously was telling his daughter he was smarter then him or to be ecstatic that she called him daddy. He went with being ecstatic and smiled widely.

"Did you hear what she called me? She called me daddy" John said as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, well, it was definitely up there with Natalie agreeing to marry him. He picked Lauren up and planted a big kiss on her forehead and said thank you to her.

"Can I play now? " she asked looking at John like she couldn't understand why he was acting crazy. Lauren went off to play and Natalie looked at John who still had a proud look on his face.

"You heard her, right? She called me daddy," he again said as if not thinking it was real

" Yes John, I heard it, she said Daddy, she called you daddy" Natalie told him smiling

"Now, I'd like to discuss calling you husband" Natalie said and they started to talk about getting married.

John and Natalie decided on a small wedding at Llanfair with just immediate family and friends. No tuxes or formal attire required, not even for John. Natalie would've married him in his jeans if that were what he wanted; she just wanted to be his wife. John did decide to wear a very nice tailored Black suit with a navy blue dress shirt. He shortened his hair to just below his chin the way he knew Natalie liked it the best.

Natalie decided she would wear a cream colored simple off the shoulder short-sleeved dress, the dress' length was just above the knees and it fit every one of Natalie's curves perfectly.

Lauren would be wearing a dress she picked out; it was a lilac colored little girls dress with a bow in the back. It was made of satin material and was simple but beautiful.

Jessica was to be Natty's Matron of Honor and of course Michael would be John's best man.

After they made the decisions on the wedding it took them almost a month to plan it, plan things simple, actually Natalie couldn't believe how long it actually took to plan, to plan something so simple, something that she knew would be beautiful.

It was about fifteen minutes before Natalie was to walk down the aisle, walk down the aisle alone to John, she didn't need anyone to give her away, part of her was already given away, a big part, she had started giving it to John little by little over the years since they first met and now today she would give him the last bit of her, she would be his wife, and be it for the rest of her life. She stood looking at herself in the mirror and she didn't see it. She didn't see fear or guilt, she only saw Love, and the love that she and John had for each other and she knew in her heart that, that their love would last a lifetime. Jessica came up behind her and they looked at each other thru the mirror.

"You look beautiful, it's time, are you ready?" Jessica said not only with her mouth but also with her emotion filled eyes.

"I know I'm beautiful, John showed me that, I'm ready," Natalie said as they went out into the foyer

John watched as everyone stood for his bride to walk down thru the room and take her place next to him, by his side, the place he knew she would always be.

Natalie walked down the aisle and smiled as she saw his loving face staring at her, she stopped right before she got to him and took Lauren who was sitting in the front row, by her hand and guided her up over by her and john in front of the priest. The three of them stood there ready, ready to embark on their journey together, their life together, joined by god the three of them would be a family, all the hopes of the future, all their dreams.

As the ceremony progressed it came to the vows part and neither planned on writing there own vows, they both liked the traditional vows and knew anything they needed to say was already being said by there hearts and their souls. The priest announced them as Husband and wife and as the Mcbain family. Lauren got a huge smile on her face when she heard her new Name.

"Lauren Mcbain" she said to herself over, and over as if she really liked the sound of it.

There was a brief reception after the ceremony and then it was time for Natalie and John to leave and go on their honeymoon. The honeymoon John had planned and kept a secret from Natalie. They were only going away for a few days, neither could bare to be away from Lauren that long, so they said there Goodbye's and were off.

John drove for a few hours and then they arrived, she knew where they were going the minute he started driving in that direction. Atlantic city, the place they both grew up in, the casinos, the boardwalk, chili cheese fries, and cheese steaks. How he knew just what she liked, how he knew who she was, and what she wanted, how he knew how happy she was to be his. John and Natalie went into their room and couldn't wait to celebrate their life together, they walked in the room and John turned to close the door behind them.

By the time John turned himself back around towards her she was Naked and standing in front of him.

"Wow! You move fast," he said as he grabbed her by the waist with his hands and pulled her body to his. John started to nibble on her neck with his mouth and then he brought his mouth to hers to kiss her deeply when she suddenly pulled back.

"I'm going to be sick" she said as she raced off to the bathroom to throw up.


	25. Chapter 25

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**Chapter 25**

Natalie was walking up to the front door of their home carrying a bag of groceries when she was almost run over, run over by a boy who was running so fast that he didn't even see her. She stopped to let him pass and the boy gave her a brief smile tarnished with fear, fear she thought and then she heard all the commotion coming from the house, she knew what had happened, it was John and the boys, doing what they always did.

Natalie opened the door and of course she could hear Lauren's mature seventeen year old voice rising in tone with John, tone rising just enough to make it clear to John that his girl was upset with his actions, again. Natalie looked around the room and saw the twins, Michael and Thomas laughing, acting their age of thirteen, as Natalie scooted the boys out of the room and walked closer to the trouble, the trouble of Lauren and John butting heads, arguing, arguing because he couldn't and wouldn't let her grow up.

"He did it again, mom he scared him away, how am I ever going to get a boyfriend and keep one with him pulling these stunts, stunts to make them run" Lauren said to Natty as she approached her, Natalie looked at John and gave him her accusatory look and John just smirked at her. He thought it was funny, funny cause if he thought about it any other way it might sadden him, sadden him to the fact that she was growing up, his Lauren, his little girl, she was old enough to date, maybe even get married in a few years, then he wouldn't be the most important man in her life, he would just be her dad. John came out of his thoughts when he saw Natalie walk over by the roll top desk in the living room. She looked down at the desk and he knew what came next.

"John, not again, I thought we agreed you wouldn't clean your gun while Lauren had a boy over" Natalie said as she tried really hard to be mad at him but she couldn't. She felt things to, felt that her little girl was at a age where she didn't need her anymore, and like John Natalie wanted to keep Lauren with her, but she knew she had to let go sometime, she had to let her grow up to be the responsible young adult she knew she would be.

"It wasn't all my fault the kid left" John told Natalie as Natalie guided Lauren into the other room so she could have this out with John.

"He ran John, he was running as if for his life" Natalie stressed to him of how afraid he made this boy who was interested in their daughter.

"Well, your precious angel boys had a hand in it too" John argued back trying to change the focus off of himself and on to his boys, yeah, knowing that was an unfatherly thing to do, he did it anyway, his boys, he knew, Natalie's boys, the apples of her eye's, he knew she'd be less mad at them than him.

"So, what did my angels do that was so bad this time? " Natalie asked knowing the pranks they usually played on Lauren's boyfriends when they came over.

"You should have seen it Nat, they tag teamed the poor guy, he didn't know what hit him, Thomas put the whoopee cushion under the seat cushion of the couch and Michael.. oh,.. oh.. Michael showed him a booga, the most disgusting thing I had ever seen." John said all that pausing in between words to laugh. He knew she was softening; she wasn't really that mad, she just felt bad for Lauren.

"John, honey, I know why you do this stuff, but you are gonna have to try, try not to scare them away, she deserves to find someone, deserves to have love in her life, she deserves it like we deserved it, she's going to find someone like we did. Hopefully without all the drama" Natalie said as she moved closer to him and touched his cheek with her hand. John brought his hand up to rest on hers and he stared into her eyes.

"I love you so much, I can't believe how much more I love you with every passing year, as the years go by I love you more and more" John said and he leaned his lips down to kiss her. Natalie and John kissed for a few minutes and then broke apart.

" Natalie" John said as Natalie's eye's got brighter looking, she knew what was coming next, they would go up to the bedroom and enjoy their love for each other.

"What?" Natalie asked taking his hand and walking him towards the foyer to go upstairs.

"Did he pee himself?" John asked seriously

"What? No, I .. I dont' think so" Natalie answered taken back by his question.

"Damn! I'm gonna have to clean the riffle next time" John said as Natalie shook her head and they walked up to their bedroom.

**The end**


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